Wnte about the following topic: Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

is widely believed that an individual can become the

most

Change the adjective

apply

show examples

happiest person in the world if they

possess

Correct subject-verb agreement

possesses

show examples

wealth

Use synonyms

. As

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

Use synonyms

can provide access to everything

such

Linking Words

as travel, luxuries, properties, and investments.

However

Linking Words

, others argue that

money

Use synonyms

cannot buy happiness and

individuals

Correct word choice

that individuals

show examples

can only find true

joy

Use synonyms

by experiencing

Use synonyms

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both the

persceptives

Correct your spelling

perspectives

. The first point of view, suggests that

wealth

Use synonyms

equals

Change preposition

apply

show examples

happiness. I agree with

this

Linking Words

notion as everything in the world has a price.

For instance

Linking Words

, if an individual is passionate about travelling, they can only do it if they have enough

money

Use synonyms

to pay for travel expenses

such

Linking Words

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

and airplane fare.

Moreover

Linking Words

, individuals with secure financial backgrounds can own their desired materialistic possessions

such

Linking Words

as luxury cars, bags and shoes.

Additionally

Linking Words

, they can have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

financial independence to invest in properties or business ventures to

further

Linking Words

increase their

wealth

Use synonyms

Linking Words

This

Change the determiner

These

show examples

things provide independence, stability, and comfort to an individual, which can only be secured or owned by

money

Use synonyms

, but these attributes can not guarantee true

joy

Use synonyms

. The second point of view, suggests that fortune can not buy

Use synonyms

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

, which

assist

Change the verb form

assists

show examples

individual's

Change noun form

individuals

show examples

to experience

Change preposition

in experiencing

show examples

joy

Use synonyms

. The warmth of a loving family and

Correct article usage

the

show examples

support of

Change the article

show examples

close confidant

provides

Correct subject-verb agreement

provide

show examples

emotional stability, fostering profound

moment

Fix the agreement mistake

moments

show examples

, which give life

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

meaning.

For instance

Linking Words

, a fun dinner at a family gathering can foster a loving environment where an individual can feel loved,

cherish

Wrong verb form

cherished

show examples

, and cared

Change preposition

for.

show examples

These emotions provide a sense of

Use synonyms

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

A true

Remove the article

True

show examples

happiness comes from family, love, care and support, which can not be bought with currency.

Thus

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

cannot buy

true

Add an article

a true

the true

show examples

sense of

joy

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

I agree that

money

Use synonyms

Change the article

show examples

intergral

Correct your spelling

integral

part of our lives, providing stability, security, and independence to travel and buy

any thing

Correct your spelling

anything

show examples

that an individual desires.

However

Linking Words

, securing

wealth

Use synonyms

is not

Correct article usage

the

show examples

main way to be happy. The true way to experience

joy

Use synonyms

is by sensing

Use synonyms

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

. Which an individual can experience by being loved, cherished, cared

, and

Change preposition

for, and

show examples

supported by family and

love

Change the form of the verb

loved

show examples

ones.

Therefore

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

can only buy desires

not

Add the comma(s)

, not

show examples

true

joy

Use synonyms

apexavaru5Tue May 27 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that links back to your thesis.

task achievement

Use clearer examples to show how money and other factors contribute to happiness.

coherence and cohesion

Improve sentence structure and grammar to make your writing easier to read.

task achievement

You presented both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Nowadays, more and more foreign students are going to English-Speaking countries to learn the “international language – English". It is undoubtedly true that studying English in an English-speaking country is the best way, but it is not the only way to learn it. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement.
Nowadays, many students around the world are going to study in English-speaking countries to learn the English language as it is the international language. While, many individuals believe that studying English in countries that speak English, can be a good idea to learn this language, others claim that it is not the only way to learn it. However, in this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion.
6.5
band
While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, many people choose to go to university to study academic subjects. However, I believe more people should consider vocational training, as there is a shortage of skilled workers like electricians and plumbers.
7.5
band
The responsibility of preventing and reducing global environmental damage lies in the hands of politicians and individuals have little impact. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Environmental problems have risen alarmingly worldwide. Many believe that people individually have less power to solve this phenomenon. I disagree with those who argue that this responsibility belongs only to politicians because a comprehensive collaboration is urgently needed.
6
band
as the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and disciss at least one problem that may result
In our rapidly evolving world, technological advancements, particularly in the realm of computers and artificial intelligence (AI), have led to the replacement of various job positions. This essay will explore several job positions that may face the risk of being lost due to the increasing integration of computers in the workforce, and it will discuss one significant problem that may result from this transition.
6
band
the house To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Guni and Gougi lived in a world, corrupted by & ghosts and supernatural beings from different," world. The planet was called Gaia. In their small village of the mysterious valley of no return, there stood a deserted house, its windows were shattered its roof were sagging, and it was & surounded wa with a ghostly aura. Rumouts spread throughout the village that the house was haunted, but Guni and Gougi did not believe in such rumours. They had curious brigh, alu seeking for adventure at most unique places.

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

The responsibility of preventing and reducing global environmental damage lies in the hands of politicians and individuals have little impact. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

as the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and disciss at least one problem that may result

the house To what extent do you agree or disagree?