IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Over population and Under population Up to wich point do you agree or disagree?

China
Use synonyms
 is at
this
Linking Words
 moment controlling rare earth
minerals
Use synonyms
, those
minerals
Use synonyms
 are very useful in creating many electronic devices, defence technology, electric vehicles, medical equipment and many other products. Trump’s threat has put the USA in a very difficult situation
due to
Linking Words
 today’s world where different industrial labours are divided globally, no development and progress can be achieved without cooperation mentioned in the video from CNBC.
This
Linking Words
 video was published five years ago and today keeps being part of the conversation because
China
Use synonyms
 has the largest deposits of rare earth. The US used those
minerals
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 to have a major military advance, only the US used 80% of rare
minerals
Use synonyms
 from
China
Use synonyms
 which means $160 Million dollar. On
this
Linking Words
 point, I consider that the situation is handled by
China
Use synonyms
 but, the US is a very strong country that will try to make a better deal with
China
Use synonyms
. The author’s video from Financial Times showed how the US made a deal with Australia
trying
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to have deposits of rare earth but, It will take time for the US to have at least 1% of the world's extraction since
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2016
China
Use synonyms
 had 84%,
then
Linking Words
 Australia 11% and Rusia, India, Brazil with less than 3%.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
 has control over
this
Linking Words
 mineral extraction and the complete supply chain trying to compete by threats could be a weapon to the US. The mutual cooperation could be the final solution for
this
Linking Words
 matter.

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task achievement
The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic. You can start with a general statement and then add your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas clearly. Use linking words like 'firstly,' 'in addition,' and 'finally' to improve flow.
task achievement
Add specific examples or data to back up your points. Explain why these examples are relevant.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and mention important data which shows your research.
coherence cohesion
You made a clear conclusion that summarizes your main point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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