IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that governments should invest more in public transportation instead of building new roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Many advocate that the government should invest more in public shipment rather than construct new roads. I strongly believe that investing in public shipping is beneficial for
community's
Correct article usage
the community's
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 comfort and convenience in their daily lives. By investing in public transit improvement the government is taking action to reduce traffic in their area. Many transport options
such
Linking Words
 as buses or trains should be options to encourage
population
Add an article
the population
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 to take public carriage, which is cheaper and more convenient.
Furthermore
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, if everyone uses public
carrier
Fix the agreement mistake
carriers
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, the highway can be used for emergencies without causing congestion,
such
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 as for hospital and police emergencies.
For instance
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, Singapore, one of the best countries with advanced public
carrier
Fix the agreement mistake
carriers
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, has MRT (Mass Rail carting) which can reach almost all areas in Singapore at lower prices and long service times,
as a result
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, most individuals prefer to take MRT,
instead
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 of their own hauling.
Moreover
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, investing a significant portion of the government's budget in public transport advancement will help to increase breeze quality in their country. Many
society
Change to a plural noun
societies
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 will leave their cars at home, which reduces atmosphere pollution caused by vehicle emissions.
In addition
Linking Words
, not only improves the environment and air but
also
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the bodies's
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bodies's
Remove the s
bodies'
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 health, because
usually
Add a comma
usually,
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 they have to walk to the nearest public terminal or station.
For instance
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, In Japan, because they have a good public haulage system, cities have fresh and clean air, and there are numerous elderly who can still walk easily and work since they have to take a long walk to the station at their young ages. In conclusion, many public may feel building new roads is essential rather than public carriage advancement.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that focusing on public conveying is a positive development for individuals productivity, money saving, and their health.

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task achievement
Try to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize it effectively in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use simple and correct language in your sentences.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples from Singapore and Japan to support your points.
task achievement
You expressed a clear opinion throughout the essay.
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