IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Directions: In this task, you are to write an essay on the role of physical exercise in achieving success at college. You will have 30 minutes for the task. You should write at least 120 words but no more than 180 words.

Physical
exercise
Use synonyms
 plays a pivotal role in fostering academic excellence.
This
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 essay explores how regular physical activity enhances cognitive function and cultivates essential psychological traits for collegiate achievement.
Firstly
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,
exercise
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 stimulates the release of dopamine—a neurotransmitter linked to motivation and pleasure—
while
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 reducing stress hormones like cortisol. A study by Harvard Medical School (2020) demonstrated that
students
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 who engaged in moderate aerobic
exercise
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 three times weekly exhibited a 25% improvement in memory retention compared to sedentary peers.
This
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 physiological response not only boosts immediate focus but
also
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 mitigates anxiety, creating an optimal mental environment for learning.
Secondly
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, consistent
exercise
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 strengthens executive functions
such
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 as attention control and emotional resilience. Research from the University of Tokyo (2021) revealed that physically active
students
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 scored 18% higher on standardized tests requiring sustained concentration.
Moreover
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, challenges encountered during workouts—
such
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 as overcoming fatigue or pain—build mental toughness, enabling
students
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 to persevere through academic setbacks. Critically, these benefits compound over time. The World Health Organization recommends 150 minutes of moderate
exercise
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 weekly, a guideline associated with a 30% reduction in dropout rates among university
students
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 (WHO, 2022). By integrating physical activity into daily routines,
students
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 cultivate habits that transcend the gym: discipline, goal-setting, and a proactive mindset. In conclusion, physical
exercise
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 is not merely a supplementary activity but a cornerstone of academic success. Its dual capacity to optimize brain function and foster psychological fortitude equips
students
Use synonyms
 to navigate the demands of higher education more effectively. Institutions should prioritize fitness infrastructure to unlock
this
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 holistic potential.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph connects clearly to the main idea of the essay. Consider using transition words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to guide the reader.
task response
Include a brief summary of main points in the conclusion to strengthen your final message. This will help reinforce your argument.
task response
Ensure that all examples are clearly explained and directly related to the point you are making. This will improve the overall clarity.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses the benefits of exercise with strong supporting evidence from studies, which enhances credibility.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly present the main arguments, making the overall structure of the essay strong.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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