Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that ‘money cannot buy happiness’. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

I strongly believe that

money

Use synonyms

is helpful in most scenarios, including good growth in

life

Use synonyms

and taking care of your loved ones, but not in every scenario like maintaining good health On the one hand, a good number of people believe that happiness depends on how much

money

Use synonyms

we have. It's true that, in every phase of

life

Use synonyms

, we need

money

Use synonyms

to live comfortably. I

also

Linking Words

agree that we need

money

Use synonyms

to get our affairs right. At

first,

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

is required to get admission

Change preposition

show examples

a reputed school/college to achieve a good education, to grow and succeed in

life

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if we plan to study more

for getting

Change preposition

to get

show examples

the dream job,

then

Linking Words

a good university and the desired course would

also

Linking Words

cost substantially.

Additionally

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

is needed to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

all our wishes

along with

Linking Words

our

parents'

Correct your spelling

parents

show examples

, as when we grow old, there are a lot of responsibilities that need to be taken care of, including our personal family expenses and

Correct pronoun usage

our parents

show examples

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

medication costs.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some people believe that

money

Use synonyms

cannot buy happiness. The meaning of happiness in

this

Linking Words

famous quote is, the real riches of

life

Use synonyms

, including satisfaction in

life

Use synonyms

, good health, and mental condition, loving family and supportive children, etc.

However

Linking Words

, the people who are happy and satisfied in their

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

don't need extra

money

Use synonyms

, as they are satisfied with the current condition of

life

Use synonyms

and enjoying it to the fullest, rather than working to earn more

money

Use synonyms

and penny-pinching. I believe that every individual should focus on achieving a stage of

life

Use synonyms

where they are not actively chasing

money

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, earning

money

Use synonyms

is a vital part of human

life

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, one

also

Linking Words

needs to understand the real riches of

life

Use synonyms

for example

Linking Words

, maintaining good health, giving time to your loved ones, and working systematically and managing time effectively.

duttmohit1998Thu May 29 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to add a clear thesis statement in the introduction. It helps guide the reader through your main argument.

coherence and cohesion

Use more linking words to improve the flow between ideas. Phrases like 'for example,' or 'on the other hand' can help the reader follow your logic better.

task achievement

Provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. This strengthens your points and makes your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Your essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which is a strong point.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of your essay is clear, with separate paragraphs for each point, making it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that ‘money cannot buy happiness’. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this positive or negative development.

Some students decide early in life to pursue vocational careers that involve cooking or baking. For them, it is better to study their chosen occupations in high school rather than regular subjects. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

The best way to motivate employees is to increase their salaries. Do you agree with this statement? Are there any other ways to encourage employees to work more efficiently?

Some people enjoy working alone. Others would rather work in a group. What is your preference? Explain why.