IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays online shopping becomes more popular than in-store shopping. Is it a positive or a negative development? Give your reasons and examples.

There is an increasing number of people who prefer to buy online rather than in a physical store.
This
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is being opt
Change the verb form
is being opted
show examples
 by many consumers
due to
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 its several advantages which will be discussed in
this
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 essay. The benefits of purchasing through online shops include convenience,
time
Use synonyms
 efficient and very
economic
Replace the word
economical
show examples
. Obviously, it can be done anywhere and anytime as long as someone has an internet connection. Ordering foods and needs through mobile apps could save a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 and money because people won’t
be needing
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 to drive to the supermarket.
For example
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, for a working mom like me, it would provide me extra
time
Use synonyms
 to do house chores rather than having it spent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 queue and commuting just to get the ingredients I needed to prepare the next day. Not only did it spare me hours for other productive activities but
also
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save
Wrong verb form
saved
show examples
 me
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 bucks. Since, every
time
Use synonyms
 I go out shopping, I always have the tendency to dine outside when I see my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 restaurant. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the popularity, the drawbacks of having to buy goods at an online shop would not guarantee quality and there will be chances of receiving a wrong product. I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced it
last
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 week when I purchased a pair of football
sock
Fix the agreement mistake
socks
show examples
 for my nephew.
Instead
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 of having it in red
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
, the item that
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 sent was in blue. What made it even
worst
Correct word choice
worse
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the type of clothing used. It was not
authentic
Rephrase
as authentic
show examples
 as advertised. I
also
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 noticed that there are increasing complaints lately for the same experience.
To conclude
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, more and more individuals are choosing online transactions
due to
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 the life-saving hacks it provides.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas, such as 'Furthermore' and 'On the other hand'.
task achievement
Provide more examples to support your main points.
task achievement
You provided a personal example, which makes your points relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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