IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinge upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern digital age, social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms have revolutionised the way individuals interact and share content.
While
Linking Words
 proponents argue that these platforms foster unprecedented global connectivity and self-expression, critics highlight the severe implications for users’
privacy
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore both perspectives before presenting a personal viewpoint. On one hand, supporters of social
media
Use synonyms
 contend that these platforms have dramatically enhanced communication. In an increasingly globalised world, applications like Facebook, Instagram, and X (formerly Twitter) allow users to maintain relationships across vast distances, engage with diverse cultures, and participate in global discussions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
 empowers users to voice opinions, showcase creativity, and raise awareness about important issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, grassroots campaigns and social justice movements have gained momentum primarily through online sharing.
Such
Linking Words
 capabilities were virtually impossible in pre-digital eras, making social
media
Use synonyms
 a powerful democratic and social tool.
Conversely
Linking Words
, critics argue that the cost of
this
Linking Words
 connectivity is the erosion of individual
privacy
Use synonyms
. Social
media
Use synonyms
 companies often collect vast amounts of user data, which can be exploited for targeted advertising or shared with third parties without explicit consent.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the permanence of digital content and the ease of information dissemination mean that personal details, once shared, can be difficult to retract. Cases of identity theft, online harassment, and data breaches
further
Linking Words
 illustrate the dangers of oversharing in these digital spaces. For many, the benefits of online connection are overshadowed by a growing sense of surveillance and vulnerability. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
 social
media
Use synonyms
 offers remarkable advantages in terms of connection and expression, these benefits must be balanced with stringent protections of user
privacy
Use synonyms
. It is essential for both users and platform providers to adopt more responsible behaviours: individuals should manage their
privacy
Use synonyms
 settings carefully, and companies should be held legally accountable for safeguarding personal data. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 social
media
Use synonyms
 undeniably enhances human connectivity and self-expression, it
also
Linking Words
 poses serious risks to
privacy
Use synonyms
. A balanced approach that embraces the strengths of social
media
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 implementing robust
privacy
Use synonyms
 regulations is the most prudent path forward.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure each point is fully developed with enough examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant and well-structured, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: