Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?
The increase in
advertisements
nowadays is more noticeable. The writer of this
essay believes that this
is due to
the competition of companies as well as
the development
of technology.This
is also
a positive improvement since it is more convenient for customers
.
It must be understood that the recent commerces are more and more competitive.To put it simply,most brands currently want to expand consumption in order to increase profit , they popularize their products
through advertising.Additionally
,because of the global economic downturn,every business needs to be more competitive to exist,leading to over-using advertisements
.Take Korea as an example,where there is an excessive dependency on the advertisement in commerces
.Fix the agreement mistake
commerce
As a result
, advertising is more popular in modern life nowadays.
Another salient reason for the development
of advertising is because of the improved devices.To explain further
, with the enhancement of technology , companies tend to introduce products
through social media and the Internet so that customers
can easily access them.Besides
, with modern devices,it is more easy
to design an Replace the words
easier
advertising
without much effort which can increase sales very effectively.Replace the word
advertisement
For example
, Apple has a tendency to popularize its products
through social media because it can access thousands of people in a short time.
The writer believes that this
is a positive development
because it is not only convenient for customers
but also
time-saving.In other words
, if advertising is so common , customers
can update the latest products
at home with their high-tech devices.Furthermore
, customers
choose selectively through feedback on websites.For instance
,Vietnamese people prefer buying products
online through advertisements
because it is easily accessible.Consequently
, the development
of advertising is suitable for to present lifestyle.
In conclusion, the growth of advertisements
is mostly due to
the competition between companies as well as
the enhancement of technology.However
, this
is a positive improvement due to
the convenience it brings.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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general
Focus on minor grammar and punctuation errors to improve the overall clarity. Consider using conjunctions to connect short sentences and improve flow.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are explained with clear and comprehensive ideas, expanding on them where necessary.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument and demonstrate your understanding.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ensure a smoother logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Develop the main points more fully in each paragraph to ensure each idea is well supported and clearly linked to the overall argument.
task achievement
You provided a complete response addressing both the competition between companies and the development of technology as causes for the increase in advertisements.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the main argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as Apple and the situation in Korea, help illustrate your points well.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with each paragraph focusing on a specific point.
Your opinion
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