Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

#advertisements #life #development

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The increase in

advertisements

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nowadays is more noticeable. The writer of

this

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essay believes that

this

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due to

Linking Words

the competition of companies

as well as

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the

development

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of technology.

This

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also

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a positive improvement since it is more convenient for

customers

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. It must be understood that the recent commerces are more and more competitive.To put it simply,most brands currently want to expand consumption in order to increase profit , they popularize their

products

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through advertising.

Additionally

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,because of the global economic downturn,every business needs to be more competitive to exist,leading to over-using

advertisements

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.Take Korea as an example,where there is an excessive dependency on the advertisement in

commerces

Fix the agreement mistake

commerce

show examples

As a result

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, advertising is more popular in modern life nowadays. Another salient reason for the

development

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of advertising is because of the improved devices.To explain

further

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, with the enhancement of technology , companies tend to introduce

products

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through social media and the Internet so that

customers

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can easily access them.

Besides

Linking Words

, with modern devices,it is

more easy

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easier

show examples

to design an

advertising

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show examples

without much effort which can increase sales very effectively.

For example

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, Apple has a tendency to popularize its

products

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through social media because it can access thousands of people in a short time. The writer believes that

this

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is a positive

development

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because it is not only convenient for

customers

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but

also

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time-saving.

In other words

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, if advertising is so common ,

customers

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can update the latest

products

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at home with their high-tech devices.

Furthermore

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customers

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choose selectively through feedback on websites.

For instance

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,Vietnamese people prefer buying

products

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online through

advertisements

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because it is easily accessible.

Consequently

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, the

development

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of advertising is suitable for to present lifestyle. In conclusion, the growth of

advertisements

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is mostly

due to

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the competition between companies

as well as

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the enhancement of technology.

However

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this

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is a positive improvement

due to

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the convenience it brings.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Thu Jun 06 2024

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general

Focus on minor grammar and punctuation errors to improve the overall clarity. Consider using conjunctions to connect short sentences and improve flow.

task achievement

Ensure that all main points are explained with clear and comprehensive ideas, expanding on them where necessary.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument and demonstrate your understanding.

coherence cohesion

Use more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ensure a smoother logical structure.

coherence cohesion

Develop the main points more fully in each paragraph to ensure each idea is well supported and clearly linked to the overall argument.

task achievement

You provided a complete response addressing both the competition between companies and the development of technology as causes for the increase in advertisements.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the main argument.

task achievement

Relevant examples, such as Apple and the situation in Korea, help illustrate your points well.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with each paragraph focusing on a specific point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

303 words

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Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

Today, an increasing number of younger individuals have to compete with older generations for the same positions. What challenges arise from this situation? What solutions would you propose?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.