Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

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The increase in
advertisements
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nowadays is more noticeable. The writer of
this
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essay believes that
this
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is
due to
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the competition of companies
as well as
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the
development
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of technology.
This
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is
also
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a positive improvement since it is more convenient for
customers
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. It must be understood that the recent commerces are more and more competitive.To put it simply,most brands currently want to expand consumption in order to increase profit , they popularize their
products
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through advertising.
Additionally
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,because of the global economic downturn,every business needs to be more competitive to exist,leading to over-using
advertisements
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.Take Korea as an example,where there is an excessive dependency on the advertisement in
commerces
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commerce
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.
As a result
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, advertising is more popular in modern life nowadays. Another salient reason for the
development
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of advertising is because of the improved devices.To explain
further
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, with the enhancement of technology , companies tend to introduce
products
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through social media and the Internet so that
customers
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can easily access them.
Besides
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, with modern devices,it is
more easy
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easier
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to design an
advertising
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advertisement
show examples
without much effort which can increase sales very effectively.
For example
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, Apple has a tendency to popularize its
products
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through social media because it can access thousands of people in a short time. The writer believes that
this
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is a positive
development
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because it is not only convenient for
customers
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but
also
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time-saving.
In other words
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, if advertising is so common ,
customers
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can update the latest
products
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at home with their high-tech devices.
Furthermore
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,
customers
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choose selectively through feedback on websites.
For instance
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,Vietnamese people prefer buying
products
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online through
advertisements
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because it is easily accessible.
Consequently
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, the
development
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of advertising is suitable for to present lifestyle. In conclusion, the growth of
advertisements
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is mostly
due to
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the competition between companies
as well as
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the enhancement of technology.
However
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,
this
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is a positive improvement
due to
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the convenience it brings.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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general
Focus on minor grammar and punctuation errors to improve the overall clarity. Consider using conjunctions to connect short sentences and improve flow.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are explained with clear and comprehensive ideas, expanding on them where necessary.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument and demonstrate your understanding.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ensure a smoother logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Develop the main points more fully in each paragraph to ensure each idea is well supported and clearly linked to the overall argument.
task achievement
You provided a complete response addressing both the competition between companies and the development of technology as causes for the increase in advertisements.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the main argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as Apple and the situation in Korea, help illustrate your points well.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with each paragraph focusing on a specific point.

Your opinion

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