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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of separate rooms for work. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that in
this
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 contemporary era, many changes have taken place in the working styles of
offices
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. One
such
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 change is the growing adoption of
open-space
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offices
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, which has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
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, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, open-plan
offices
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 promote better coordination and teamwork. When
employees
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 work in shared spaces, collaboration becomes easier, and they can complete tasks more efficiently through collective problem-solving.
For instance
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, having multiple people contribute to a task often leads to quicker and more innovative solutions.
Furthermore
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, working in a desk-sharing environment fosters a more engaging atmosphere, which helps reduce monotony and enhances performance. As
employees
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 build stronger relationships and break down communication barriers, productivity increases.
Thus
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,
open-space
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 layouts benefit both
employees
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 and organizations by creating a comfortable, connected, and high-output workplace.
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages to
open-space
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 office designs. One concern is that increased interaction may lead to distractions,
such
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 as unnecessary conversations or gossip, which can reduce focus and productivity. In
such
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 cases, separate rooms may help limit interruptions and maintain discipline.
Additionally
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, open workspaces often generate excessive noise, which can make it difficult for
employees
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 to concentrate, especially in roles that require deep focus. In conclusion,
while
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open-space
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offices
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 have some drawbacks,
such
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 as distractions and noise, I believe their benefits in promoting collaboration and enhancing productivity make them a more advantageous choice
overall
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your main idea, which is great. Make sure to include a brief outline of your main points to guide the reader in future essays.
coherence cohesion
In your paragraphs, use more signposting words like 'firstly', 'moreover', and 'in contrast' to help readers follow your ideas better.
task achievement
Add a few more specific examples or data to back up your points. This will show stronger evidence and a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your writing presents a clear viewpoint and you supported it well with main points.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes your ideas and reiterates your stance clearly.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaboration
  • flexibility
  • cost-effective
  • creativity
  • transparency
  • environment
  • productivity
  • communication
  • team dynamics
  • diversity
  • innovation
  • open-plan
  • distractions
  • privacy
  • noise levels
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