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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The amount of time spent on traveling to work has significantly increased in the past few decades. Discuss the causes and effects of this situation, and provide possible solutions.

It is believed that
last
Linking Words
 decades
people
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
have spent
show examples
 more
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
commuting to work. It might
cause
Verb problem
be
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 several reasons like urban sprawl, traffic
conjestion
Correct your spelling
congestion
, disfunction of public transport.
While
Linking Words
 these problems exist, I will
also
Linking Words
 describe possible solutions to them. The first reason behind long travelling
time
Use synonyms
 can be
location
Add an article
the location
show examples
 of jobs. It implies that these days most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies prefer to settle down in city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 higher access
of
Change preposition
to
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 services; including
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 and food.
For example
Linking Words
, the city centre of Toronto is full of different types of offices and food industry businesses, for which most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 spend hours
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelling
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 using different types of
transporttaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 in order to reach
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 destination. Without
doubt
Correct article usage
a doubt
show examples
, the placement of jobs
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 just on travelling and
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end they feel exhausted.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 reason which becomes an issue
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the 21st century is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 increasing number of vehicles on the roads. It means that the increasing number of cars or transportation on the roads leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher congestion from year to year, and
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 commute longer the same distances than it was before.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another cause might be the disfunction of public transportation which is widely used by working
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, one of the frequently used types of public
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 in Toronto is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 subway;
however
Linking Words
, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many lines of the subway,
people
Use synonyms
 might face delays
due to
Linking Words
 some
disfunctions
Correct your spelling
dysfunctions
. These things make
people
Use synonyms
 feel
anger
Replace the word
angry
show examples
 as they are usually late for these
unforessen
Correct your spelling
unforeseen
 situations.
Nevertheless
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, several solutions
also
Linking Words
 exist to improve these problems. One of them is to increase branches of companies throughout the country,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
especially when a country is big. the second solution
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 schedules of
ransportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 and to check
theri
Correct your spelling
their
 functioning before starting the day. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 these problems exist with
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 it is possible to bring solutions which might mitigate
people
Use synonyms
's life and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on roads.

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coherence
Make sure to write a clear introduction that outlines the main points of your essay and a conclusion that summarizes them.
task achievement
You have identified important causes and solutions regarding the increase in travel time to work.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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