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Band 6

38.Some people think that games can help children to develop a wide range of skills, while others believe that video games have a negative impact on children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #games #children #range #skills #video #impact
Gaming can have both negative and positive impacts on
children
. When discussing
games
 and their effects on the development of skills in
children
, it is important to note that there is a wide array of gaming tools available in today's society, including but not limited to: PlayStation,
XBox
Correct your spelling
Xbox
, Nintendo, iPad, and phones. Those who argue that video
games
 have a negative impact on
children
 may largely be referring to the overuse of
screen-time
Correct your spelling
screen time
show examples
, which can be problematic in devices which give access to other apps and tools,
such
 as smartphones. Extensive screen time can not only
disrupt
Verb problem
apply
show examples
childrens'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 focal ability, but their visual acuity too. Prolonged gaming
acivity
Correct your spelling
activity
 may
also
 result in less time spent doing other activities, and potentially visible reluctance in participating in outdoor activities, as they would be more inclined to stay indoors and play
games
 all day.
Additionally
, if proper adult supervision is not available,
children
 may find themselves downloading and playing
games
 that are out of their age range, and
thus
 containing scenes of violence, or inappropriate language. Naturally,
children
 will
then
 repeat words they hear, especially those of younger ages who are much more easily influenced. Scenes of violence may
also
 cause distress to the viewers, and potentially impact their sleep - which may stunt growth. Those who are pro-gaming activity in
children
 may argue that certain
games
such
 as sudoku, will aid in intellectual development and improve their relationship with numbers and maths. Certain board
games
 may
also
 contribute to
this
, Monopoly being a great example as participants have to deal with money,
hence
 improving their maths skills. Other board
games
such
 as Operation, may improve a child's manual dexterity, and even inspire them to pursue professions in the field of healthcare! In conclusion, I believe that the impact that gaming can have on a child's development depends on many factors
such
 as the type of game, and the duration of it. As with most things, moderation is key.
Submitted by shakilam on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. This can be improved by using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
task achievement
While the essay provides a balanced discussion, it would benefit from deeper exploration of the points made. Adding more specific examples and evidence would strengthen the argument further.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets out the topic and the two opposing views, which helps the reader understand the focus of the essay from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and presents a clear personal opinion. This helps to tie the essay together and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of the writer's perspective.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument comprehensively, addressing both the positive and negative aspects of gaming for children.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as mention of specific types of games (e.g., Sudoku, Monopoly), help to clarify the points being made and make the argument more concrete.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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