IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns leaving only old people in the countrysides. What problem does this cause? What can be done to solve the problem

Many
youth
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young
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people
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 move to
cities
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 and leave the
countryside
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.
This
Linking Words
 move causes serious economic issues. The viable solution is to make the
countryside
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 kind of similar to the
cities
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. When young
people
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 leave the
countrysides
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countryside
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 to live in the
cities
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, many economic issues will arise. Young
people
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 represent a large percentage of employment, they
work
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 in very important facilities in the
countryside
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 like hospitals, schools and stores.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their
moveing
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moving
 cause closing of most of
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the
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Correct your spelling
workplaces
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work
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 places which lead to decrease of the incomes and affects the country's economic.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Saudi
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Arabia
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Arabia,
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 many villages like Um aljmajm are semi-closed. Many young
people
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 leave
to
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for
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 the capital to study or
work
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, so only old
people
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 live.
As a result
Linking Words
, there are lack of
services
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 which made the
Saudi
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 government close most of the public
services
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there
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apply
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and some factories. Providing good
services
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 will encourage young
people
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 to continue living in the
countryside
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. The governments are responsible to
encourge
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encourage
 young
people
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 to live in the
countryside
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 by providing them with not only basic needs like airports, universities and stores
,
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 but
also
Linking Words
 with entertainment needs like cinemas, shopping malls and parks.
Moreover
Linking Words
, young
people
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 need good
work
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 opportunities with
a high salaries
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high salaries
a high salary
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 to live in the
countryside
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
 15 years, Majmmah in the
Saudi
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 Araba was a small village near
to
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apply
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the capital city of Riyadh , and its citizens moved to Riyadh
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of basic
services
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. Nowadays, when the government improve the city by building a train station, airport, and university, many young
people
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 leave the big
cities
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 and move to Majmmah, which enhances the
Saudi
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 economy. In conclusion, several economic issues arise when young
people
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 leave the
countryside
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 to live in the
cities
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. By providing basic and entertainment needs, the young
people
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 would stay and live in the
countryside
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly answer both parts of the question. You need to discuss the problems caused by young people leaving and solutions you suggest.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your essay better. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and support it fully. Connect your ideas more smoothly with linking phrases.
task achievement
Include more examples and explain them a bit more to make your points stronger. This will help show how the problems affect the countryside and how solutions can work.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant to the topic and you have a clear opinion about solutions.
task achievement
You have provided some real-life examples from Saudi Arabia which helps support your points.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • countryside
  • cities
  • towns
  • young people
  • old people
  • community
  • workforce
  • businesses
  • farms
  • services
  • schools
  • hospitals
  • access
  • care
  • activities
  • lively
  • loneliness
  • problems
  • solutions
What to do next:
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