IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People
Use synonyms
 who choose their profession in their early stage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 enjoyable
job
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 than those who switch
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 always.
people
Use synonyms
 with
clear
Add an article
a clear
show examples
 mindset of their
career
Use synonyms
 early can give joy in the work.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that
people
Use synonyms
 who decide on a
career
Use synonyms
 path in their early lives have satisfying working
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. The selection of
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 path on your own can lead to
smooth
Correct article usage
a smooth
show examples
 way towards
goal
Add an article
the goal
a goal
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 of working
life
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 future
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
,
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 can gain knowledge
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 to make to more suitable and achievable dream.
This
Linking Words
 will give more
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities with skilled talent in work
life
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.
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 having
decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 early can give
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 powerful
vision
Use synonyms
 to become successful in their
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar
blongs
Correct your spelling
belongs
belong
 to
poor
Add an article
a poor
show examples
 family with
lower
Add an article
the lower
a lower
show examples
 cast. but, he had the
vision
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 to become
graduate
Correct article usage
a graduate
show examples
 and have
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
 in
life
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
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with confusion
Replace the word
who are confused
show examples
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 and
frequent
Change the word
frequently
show examples
 switch
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
jobs
Change to a singular noun
job
show examples
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not get settled in
life
Use synonyms
. Those individuals do not step
forwards
Correct your spelling
forward
show examples
 towards better
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
. having unclear
vision
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 will come to
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 of getting frustrated
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 and
do change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 their
job
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
 they will not get
required
Correct article usage
the required
show examples
 hike in terms of salary,
position
Correct word choice
or position
show examples
. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
People
Use synonyms
 with clear
vision
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become more
suceessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 in
life
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure that your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines what the essay will cover.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that your examples directly support your main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve your grammar and punctuation, as there are several mistakes that make your writing harder to read.
task achievement
You provide a clear opinion in your introduction, which is a good start.
task achievement
You give an interesting example of Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar which adds value to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
What to do next:
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