Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some

people

Use synonyms

say that accepting more travellers from overseas can contribute negatively to the environment and there should be some regulation. It is true that an increasing number of tourists from foreign countries has caused some problems

such

Linking Words

as deforestation in order to build more accommodations for them.

However

Linking Words

, I totally disagree with the statement because

this

Linking Words

trend can lead a nation to

further

Linking Words

economic growth and enlarge opportunities for employment for jobless

people

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are some advantages to welcoming more tourists to their own countries. One of them is the financial benefit of a country. Generally, travelling abroad costs a large amount of money,

that is

Linking Words

to say, only wealthy

people

Use synonyms

can experience it. These rich individuals may spend a huge amount of money on the country, and

as a result

Linking Words

, the nation will be able to prosper as a whole.

For example

Linking Words

, Italy is a good example of

this

Linking Words

, where a deluge of tourists from other countries travelled to see a variety of sightseeing including some of the world's heritages,

thus

Linking Words

positively affecting the economic situation and resulting in an increase in the minimum wage.

Moreover

Linking Words

, having a great deal of holidaymakers could

also

Linking Words

enlarge opportunities for unemployed residents.

This

Linking Words

is because there will be more need for businesses to entertain the visitors and to build more accommodations like hotels and more facilities like museums. For

this

Linking Words

, simultaneously, hosting nations will need more

people

Use synonyms

to work with.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Japan, the jobless rate has actually dropped since the government accepted more travellers to Japan. In conclusion, even though some individuals believe that an increasing number of holidaymakers can negatively impact the environment and they need to set a limitation for

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

viewpoint because of the two upsides: economic prosperity in terms of finance and a decrease in

people

Use synonyms

without a job.

ryoji779Mon Jun 02 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize it in the conclusion. This helps the reader understand your viewpoint clearly.

task achievement

Try to provide more detailed explanations for your examples. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in addition'. This will improve the flow of your essay.

task achievement

You have provided relevant examples that support your arguments, such as Italy and Japan, which strengthen your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

carbon footprint
biodiversity
ecosystem
sustainable travel
eco-friendly
carbon emissions
habitat destruction
cultural dilution
overcrowding
resource depletion
sustainable
environmental impact
tourism ethics
green initiatives
conservation efforts

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