IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe cities should not try to preserve its old, historic buildings and instead, they should destroy them and replace them with modern buildings. To what extent do you agree?

The notion of metropolises protecting their ancient
buildings
Use synonyms
 or
rebuild
Wrong verb form
rebuilding
show examples
 or more modernized ones is argued. The writer of
this
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 essay fully agrees with preserving old
buildings
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 as they act as profitable tourist attractions
as well as
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 a form of respect for the city founders. It is vital to recognize that historic
sites
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 help generate revenue for cities. Simply put, these locations hold a remarkable number of cultural
as well as
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 historical
reference
Fix the agreement mistake
references
show examples
, making them appropriate destinations for
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 to sightsee.
Furthermore
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, by charging entry fees to these
sites
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, cities can generate substantial income.
For example
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, The Independence Palace, which was once the home of Vietnam’s Southern president, has been turned into a popular attraction. Because of
this
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, governments can allocate these profits to fund civic projects.
Therefore
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, preserving ancient city
sites
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 is a financially rewarding decision. Another key justification for sustaining old
buildings
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 is that it shows respect for the city’s heritage. The state of a city is a reflection of the efforts of those who built it. If we were to destroy them, we would be devaluing the efforts of those cities’ ancestors.
As a result
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, by preserving these
buildings
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 we can instill a sense of respect in current citizens for their predecessors. In conclusion, preserving the condition of historic
sites
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 is beneficial through boosting tourism
as well as
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 providing us with a view into history.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline your main points in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas better within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more examples or details to support your points.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic.
task achievement
The reasons for preserving historic buildings are well-stated.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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