IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree?

It is claimed that state officials ought to allot more money for science-related subjects than others in the process of teaching to contribute to the development of a
country
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. I agree with
this
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 statement
,
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apply
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 because there is a growing demand for experts in the field of technology, where science is a base element to excel.
Moreover
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, scientific topics help
students
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 to improve their analytical skills, which make them to be more beneficial citizens in the future. It is an
undisputable
Correct your spelling
indisputable
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 fact that automation is a growing trend, which requires not only individuals but
also
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 countries to follow recent developments.
Therefore
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, governments should pay more attention to the subjects taught at schools and universities to encourage
students
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choose
Add the particle
to choose
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 quantitative paths. One of the ways to do it is
spending
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by spending
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 more funds to make the process engaging
while
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 providing
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 up-to-date equipment for the experiments.
For example
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,
last
Linking Words
 year my high school administration decided to renew computer laboratories
as well as
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 create a STEM room, where the most
innovated
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innovative
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 tools are provided for
students
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 to utilize.
As a result
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, pupils of the school won
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first place in the countrywide robot-making competition using the supplies from the STEM room. Another reason to allocate more money for science subjects is that learning quantitative topics helps to enhance analytical skills.
This
Linking Words
 process takes place either directly - getting
comprehensive
Correct article usage
a comprehensive
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 education in chemistry, mathematics, or other related fields - or indirectly, which comprises adding STEM-related electives to the humanities curriculum.
For instance
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, an econometrics class added to the syllabus of a Management degree can benefit
students
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 to learn and develop their skills,
consequently
Linking Words
 being useful citizens for a
country
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 in the long term. In conclusion, spending more money
for
Change preposition
on
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 science-related topics than others in
education
Add an article
the education
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 field is essential for a
country
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 to speed up its progress. In my opinion, it is one of the ways to aggregate skilled experts in government systems
while
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 helping people of the
country
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 to become analytically aware citizens.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer outline of your key points in the introduction. This can help guide the reader better.
coherence c cohesion
Check for slight grammatical errors, especially in longer sentences, to improve clarity.
task achievement
You have supported your main points with relevant examples, which is very effective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs for each main idea.
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