IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

There is no denying the fact that some
people
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 believe they should keep all of the
money
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 they earn ,
while
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 it is commonly held belief that not pay their
money
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 to the
state
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 , there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it , in my opinion, I consider that they should keep the
money
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.
To begin
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 with , I believe that keeping the
money
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 could make
people
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 spend more and be more optimistic about their salary or their job,
in other words
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, buy a lot of things which
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 more than they need as if they pay it to the
state
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,
in addition
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 , it could
also
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 move their children to a better school and get higher education or buy needs for
them selves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
,
for example
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 ,
due to
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 more
money
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 that been saved from the tax they move them to a better school and more convenient to their budget. another point to consider, it could be good for the
state
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's economic system , it is
also
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 possible to say that ,
people
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 can spend more to spend
money
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 rather than save it,
moreover
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 , would more
people
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 buy a lot of things from the store
for instance
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 , buying more clothes or mobile or even investing in the stock market in their
state
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 or country. In conclusion , despite
people
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 having different views I believe that
people
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 should save their
money
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 and spend it on their selfs
due to
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 a lot of factors that I wrote about and some that do occur to me now .

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction could be clearer. Make sure to state your opinion clearly at the end of the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words to connect your ideas better. For example, use 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to help the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points better. It should clearly restate your opinion and the reasons.
task achievement
The examples you provided are too general. Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic, which is good for task response.
task achievement
You have made an effort to provide reasons for your opinion, showing some understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
What to do next:
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