People sleep less than they used to in past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individual's?

Many
researches
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researchers
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suggest that
criteria
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the criteria
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of
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for
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sleep
has
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have
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been decreased in today's age, as compared to
past
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the past
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decade.
In addition
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, the advancement of technology, vast use of electronic devices and social media has
labeled
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labelled
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as a cause of less sleep.
Furthermore
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, it has created
massive
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a massive
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impact on people's
body
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bodies
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any
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and
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physical
ability
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abilities
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.
To begin
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with, we are living in
a
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the
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twenty first
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twenty-first
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century, which is
also
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referred
as
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to as
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digital
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the digital
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age, where each and every human being owns a mobile phone and many advanced gadgets, which has led them to spend
maximum
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a maximum
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amount of time on social media till late
night
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at night
show examples
. The common issue of
current
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the current
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younge
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young
younger
genaration
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generation
is that they are unable to make their sleeping schedule.
For example
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,
Harvard
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a Harvard
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university
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University
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research report
,
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apply
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found that in England ten out of four adults
does
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do
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not have a sleeping schedule.
Secondly
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, there are
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a numbers
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numbers
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number
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of health issues that many
individual's
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individuals
individual
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are suffering from less sleep,
such
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as insomnia,hair loss
and
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apply
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obesity etc.
Besides
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these health issues, people who go to bed late are more likely to wake up late in the morning with less energy, which will impact their daily life and work, as they reach their
work place
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workplace
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with no mood and
tired
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a tired
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body,
this
Linking Words
can increase their chance of getting fired.
For instance
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, many studies
suggests
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suggest
show examples
that students who stay awake till late
night
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at night
show examples
because of peer pressure have
high
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a high
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chances
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chance
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of getting
a bad habits
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bad habits
a bad habit
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like eating out
everyday
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every day
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which can cause several health
issue
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issues
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.
To conclude
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, the use of electronic gadgets and taking less
intrest
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interest
interested
in making a schedule has created
huge
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a huge
show examples
impact on people's
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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and sleep as compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
.

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Structure
Your introduction could include a clearer thesis statement outlining the main points you will discuss. This helps guide the reader.
Coherence
Try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. This will improve the flow of your writing.
Grammar
Be careful with grammar and spelling errors, as they can affect the meaning of your sentences. Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.
Content
You identified the impact of technology on sleep, which is a relevant point.
Structure
Your conclusion summarizes the main arguments, which provides closure to your essay.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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