IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is better to raise children in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree?

Since the beginning of our existence as an organized
society
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, we have been transferring a vast variety of
knowledge
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 from generation to generation.
This
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 is how
education
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 and
knowledge
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has
Change the verb form
have
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 become a foundational aspect for societies to thrive and evolve.
Therefore
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, some people think that in order to develop a country, governments need to invest more in teaching
science
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 than in other subjects. I partially agree with
this
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 idea; in my opinion, a robust blend of areas of
knowledge
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 needed to develop a country and its
society
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 in a more sustainable and integral way. Of course, we can't deny the fact that
science
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 has provided, through many years in a very effective way, answers and solutions to the most pressing concerns that we have as a
society
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.
For example
Linking Words
, through mathematics, astronomy, physics,
chemistry
Correct word choice
and chemistry
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, to mention a few, we have been able to make major improvements to our daily lives resulting in productivity efficiency, and in its ultimate goal, an increase in our quality of life.
Nevertheless
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, there are other fundamental areas of
knowledge
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 and capabilities that are needed to thrive as a
society
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. The approach needs to evolve from only investing in
science
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education
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, to funding other fields of studies
such
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 as humanities that are needed to ensure comprehensive solutions. In conclusion, investment in
education
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 should always be a priority for our governments and
society
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. In order to foster sustainable and continuous development, school programs should integrate both
science
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 and humanities throughout the
scholar
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scholar's
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 life-cycle. Investment in
education
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 will provide the best opportunities for societies to evolve.

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task achievement
Make sure all your ideas support your main point clearly. Some parts could use more clear examples.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between your ideas for better flow.
introduction
You have a good introduction that sets up your argument well.
main idea
You made solid points about the importance of both science and humanities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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