Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
this
day and age, Linking Words
life
is always a hotly debated topic. Some individuals believe that competition at Use synonyms
work
, at school and in daily Use synonyms
life
is a good thing. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
others
claim that we should endeavour to cooperate more, rather than compete against each other. The following essay will discuss both views.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, some citizens say that it is necessary to compete at Linking Words
work
, at school and in daily Use synonyms
life
. It is easy to understand because when Use synonyms
people
see that their friends or coworkers always achieve success, but they do not have anything, Use synonyms
then
they will try to Linking Words
work
or study harder so that they can reach more success than Use synonyms
others
. So competition can be a motivation for them to develop themselves. Use synonyms
For example
, in a class, students always try to reach rank 1 so that their parents can be proud of them. Linking Words
In addition
, it Linking Words
also
helps them have excellent academic results and in the future, it can create many opportunities in university for them.
Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
others
argue that we should endeavour to cooperate more, rather than compete against each other. It is Use synonyms
also
not false because many Linking Words
people
working together can create a bigger success and tasks are Use synonyms
also
solved more efficiently and logically.Linking Words
In addition
, it helps their relationship become better. Linking Words
For instance
, if a person builds a house, they will need several years, Linking Words
however
, if many Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
work
together, the house can be completed in 1 year. Use synonyms
Moreover
, when working, they Linking Words
also
talk and share with Linking Words
others
so it is happier and not tired.
In conclusion, many Use synonyms
people
think that it is good to have competition at Use synonyms
work
, at school and in daily Use synonyms
life
. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
others
oppose and claim that we should try to cooperate more, rather than compete against each other. In my opinion, both two statements are true but there are likelihoods we can not cooperate and vice versa but in all likelihoods, we should try our best.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay discusses both views effectively, but the discussion could be deepened. Make sure each argument is thoroughly explored.
task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement to outline your perspective more explicitly in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Some ideas might seem somewhat disjointed.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a variety of linking words to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations; focus on specific, concrete examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a balanced view of both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Your use of examples is relevant, aiding in the explanation of your points.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear with separate paragraphs for different ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?