Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

These days, a plethora of
people
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prefer to get married and have children after their youth.
Although
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this
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trend can engender some issues related to the future of society, I believe that its merits outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, generally, youngsters do not possess health issues
due to
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their less stressful lifestyle. The younger
people
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get married, the less likely they have a chance to encounter some health problems. Particularly, women are at low risk when they get pregnant during their twenties. In
this
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way, the birth rates do not undergo ramification. Specifically, it may be considered as one of the major issues that most countries are facing today.
On the other hand
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, I consider that
people
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should not rush for marriage.
First,
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as getting older young
people
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undermine numerous experiences through
they
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which they
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obtain a myriad of new lessons .
Accordingly
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,
this
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tempted them to become more mature which is a vital factor to be a part of a new household.
For example
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, if adults can endure their partners and solve their problems via talking, they would be great role models for their upbringings.
Second,
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while
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community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
become financially independent from their parents in their twenties, they should learn how to manage their budget and save an adequate amount of money for their and the next generation’s futures.
For instance
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, adults who have a considerable wage are able to afford the staple needs of their family. Particularly, in the twenty-first century, it is quite burdensome to someone even if he lives alone, since the prices of the necessary items, food, and rent are increasing day by day. In conclusion,
while
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having family in older ages than twenties trend may lead to potential concerns about maintaining the birth rates, I argue that
people
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should get married when they are mature enough and financially available for their children.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more clearly. Use linking words to help the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Make sure every part of your essay answers the question clearly. Try to stay focused on the main point throughout.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and present reasons for it.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage for the essay well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • emotional maturity
  • life experience
  • career development
  • professional achievements
  • job satisfaction
  • health risks
  • quality of parenting
  • societal changes
  • cultural expectations
  • gender roles
  • educational attainment
  • secure environment
  • life experience
  • shifting trends
  • medical advice
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