IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Your friend wants to send her/his child to leam music. He/she asked you for some information about the music academy that you went to Write him/her a letter. You should -Describe the music school -Suggest a teacheror a class to go to - Explain why you recommend it

Dear Lele, I am writing to let you know about the music school that I used to attend. It is called Talint Music Academy and is located in the
center
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centre
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 of District 1. It is a small school with only a few classrooms, but it has an excellent reputation among parents and former students. Many of its past students have gone on to become famous musicians. I believe your daughter should join Mrs. Lisa's piano class. She is my former teacher, and I absolutely loved her.
Moreover
Linking Words
, learning the piano helps young people develop various skills. I
also
Linking Words
 noticed a piano in your living room, so Roz could practice at home. I highly recommend the school. As I mentioned earlier, I attended Mrs. Lisa's classes when I was a child. I
also
Linking Words
 know other parents who send their kids there, and they have always said how safe it is and how friendly the teachers are. Kind regards, Lolo

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task achievement
Try to add a bit more detail about the classes offered at the academy to give a fuller picture.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition'.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear greeting and closing, which is good for a letter format!
task achievement
You provided personal experience and recommendations, making your letter more trustworthy.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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