IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Traffic
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 congestion and
pollution
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due to
Linking Words
 the
traffic
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 have become
widely
Add an article
a widely
the widely
show examples
 debated topic. Many suggest that increasing
petrol
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 would solve the ongoing issue.
This
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 essay argues that increasing
petrol
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prices
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 would not be the solution and authorities have a crucial role in solving
traffic
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 and
pollution
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 by encouraging
people
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 to
use
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 public transportation and build new
roads
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 to ease the
traffic
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. In today’s modern world, where overpopulation and
pollution
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 are one of the main problems in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, increasing
petrol
Use synonyms
prices
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 would only hinder the situation.
People
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obliged
Add a missing verb
are obliged
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 to
use
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 private vehicles
due to
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lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of support
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 and
roads
Use synonyms
. And increasing the price of
petrol
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 would not be the ultimate solution since
people
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 do not have any other alternatives. Public transportations work in limited schedules and routes,
therefore
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people
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 who work at night or where they work
out
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outside
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 of public services’ route cannot travel.
Moreover
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, many public
transports
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transport
show examples
such
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trains
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as trains
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 or busses are expensive and uncomfortable to travel with
due to
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 overcrowding , leading
people
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 to choose their own automobile. All these reasons may cause
traffic
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 congestion and ultimately,
pollution
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. Governments have a vital role in solving
traffic
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 and
pollution
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 problems. To mitigate
this
Linking Words
 issue, public funds can be used to increase
of
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apply
show examples
routes and longer shifts for public
transports
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transport
show examples
such
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 as
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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,
tram
Fix the agreement mistake
trams
show examples
 or trains in order to encourage
people
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 to
use
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 it
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any time and destination. These services could have eco-friendly fuels or electric power to reduce
pollution
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 are expensive,
therefore
Linking Words
 reducing the cost of the tickets could
support
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
 passengers to
use
Use synonyms
 public transportation. Switching to public transport can significantly reduce
people
Use synonyms
’s carbon prints.Another solution could be to construct more
roads
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 in order to have alternative routes for drivers,
this
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 could significantly affect
traffic
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 congestion. In conclusion, raising the
petrol
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prices
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not effective enough to solve
traffic
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 and
pollution
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.Authorities should provide citizens
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 better public transport with reasonable
prices
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 and alternative
roads
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 and encourage them to
use
Use synonyms
 more public transport in order to reduce
pollution
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.

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task achievement
Provide a clearer opinion in the introduction to make it more obvious whether you agree or disagree with the main idea.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your points, especially about public transport improvements.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs are clear with one main idea each. It helps the reader follow your thoughts easily.
coherence and cohesion
Add linking words such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in conclusion' to guide the reader through your essay.
content
You presented valid points about the limitations of public transport.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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