IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend . do you agree or disagree

There has been a rising debate about whether working weeks should be shortened, giving workers a longer weekend. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
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 statement because it will help both employers and
employees
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 by increasing
productivity
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 and enhancing
work
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-life balance. One of the primary benefits of a shorter working
week
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 is increased
productivity
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. Longer weekends allow staff members to rest and recuperate from
work
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-related stress and fatigue, resulting in
employees
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 returning to
work
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 feeling more refreshed and having sufficient energy, which enhances their
work
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 performance.
For instance
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, in Japan, the government reduced the working days, which in turn resulted in a 40% increase in
work
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 efficiency and
productivity
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. Another reason is that a shorter working
week
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 can significantly improve
employees
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' mental health. Long working hours are often associated with higher stress levels, anxiety, and burnout. By reducing the number of workdays,
employees
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 have more time to relax, pursue hobbies, and spend time with family and friends, which can enhance their
overall
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 well-being.
For instance
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, in New Zealand, Perpetual Guardian's trial of a four-day
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work
Correct your spelling
workweek
show examples
week
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 led to a substantial reduction in stress levels among
employees
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, demonstrating that a more balanced
work
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 schedule can positively impact mental health. A longer weekend provides
employees
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 with more opportunities to engage in activities that contribute to a fulfilling personal life. In conclusion, a shorter working
week
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 is beneficial for both
employees
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 and employers. The benefits of increased
productivity
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, improved mental health, and enhanced
work
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-life balance make a compelling case for
this
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 change.

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task achievement
Your essay presents clear ideas with good structure. To improve, make sure each paragraph fully supports your main ideas with more detailed examples.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words (like 'firstly', 'for example', 'in conclusion') more often to guide the reader through your argument.
content
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position.
content
The examples from Japan and New Zealand effectively support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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