You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter Say how you feel about this performance Give details of your musical activities Explain how you would like him to help you with musical activities

#concert #singers #singer #performance #activities

Dear Charly Garcia, I am writing to you regarding your

last

show

in Los Angeles.

First,

let me introduce myself, I am Pity Alvarez ex-singer of Intoxicados. I wanted to express my feelings about your

last

performance in The States, it was an absolutely incredible

show

, and it has brought me many good memories of when I was performing for Intoxicados.

In addition

, the light's effects were impressive, I had never seen something like that.

Also

, I would like to tell you about my new

band

, as you know Intoxicados is over, but I have started a new

band

. It is going pretty well, we have a

show

on September 9th in Buenos Aires and you are very welcome to come.

Furthermore

, we have got the former guitarist from Babasonicos which adds a special touch to the

band

. One

last

but not least, I would like to ask you if you have the chance to promote

this

show

, it will be very helpful for encouraging more people to come and meet the

band

. I hope to hear back from you soon. Yours sincerely, Pity Alvarez

Submitted by jimeilaria on Fri Sep 06 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate a bit more on the specific ways the singer's performance inspired you. This could make your admiration more vivid and heartfelt.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a single, clear idea. In your current structure, some ideas, like the mention of the light effects, seem slightly out of place with the rest of the paragraph's focus.

task achievement

Excellent use of a friendly and respectful tone appropriate for writing to a singer you admire.

coherence cohesion

Good use of logical structure, where you introduce yourself, appreciate the performance, provide personal updates, and make a request.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

185 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

stellar performance
captivating
musical prowess
talent
repertoire
collaboration
mentorship
resonate
aspiring musician
composition
rendition
inspirational
vocal range
harmonize
skillset

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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