IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Scientist's predict that future generations will be able to live well past 100 years, some people believe this is a good thing while others believe this development will bring about serious problems for the planet. Discuss both views and your opinion

Scientist's
Fix the agreement mistake
Scientists'
show examples
 predictions might
right
Add a missing verb
be right
show examples
might be
Verb problem
or
show examples
 wrong, But
this
Linking Words
 essay believes both views have their own reasons and opinions,
Nontheless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
,
This
Linking Words
 essay will agree with the idea of generations living longer
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than disagreeing. The advantages of
people
Use synonyms
 living more of
lifetime
Add an article
a lifetime
show examples
 on
this
Linking Words
 planet
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more the disadvantages
it self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
,
eldaerly
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
Use synonyms
 could be seen as a burden that only contributes to global warming and other unnecessary things like retirement salary and social homes, But that's not true because young
people
Use synonyms
 and adolescents get the chance to work at nursery homes , Spend more time with individuals gained a lot of experience by making mistakes in
this
Linking Words
 life, Older
people
Use synonyms
 most of them can be grandparents who
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 by
baby sitting
Correct your spelling
babysitting
show examples
 them and reduce the pressure on the parents themselves. The
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
show examples
, There's a lot of older
people
Use synonyms
 living
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their children's expense,
Instead
Linking Words
 of accepting that aging is normal . They get mentally and physically sick easily which causes young
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 life balance to be totally messed up,
Having
Verb problem
and they have
show examples
 problems
to face
Change the verb form
facing
show examples
reality
Add an article
the reality
show examples
 of
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 parents . Youth could feel a huge pressure by taking care of older
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 and trying to fill
needs
Correct article usage
the needs
show examples
 of their spouses and
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
,
Families
Correct word choice
and Families
show examples
 in general which will only make them decrease focus and production in life that gives the society benefits of their services.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it's very unfair to tell elderly
people
Use synonyms
 that they are not needed any more because they grew in age. They contributed to
this
Linking Words
 world by working and being able to be beneficial as much as they could. I'm not saying
there's
Change the verb form
there are
show examples
 no disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it , I'm just implying in
this
Linking Words
 essay to not
go
Verb problem
be
show examples
 harsh on them and act like we will not age like them one day .

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly introduce both sides of the argument in your introduction. This helps to frame the essay better.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear main idea. Try to start each paragraph with a topic sentence that outlines what the paragraph will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words (like 'however', 'although', 'moreover') to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Avoid using complex phrases when simple words work just as well. For example, replace 'it's very unfair' with 'it is not fair'.
task achievement
Expand your examples. Use specific real-life situations or studies to make your points stronger.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for the task.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows an understanding of both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life expectancy
  • Medical advancements
  • Quality of life
  • Economic growth
  • Overpopulation
  • Resource scarcity
  • Environmental impact
  • Waste and pollution
  • Social inequalities
  • Sustainable practices
  • Pension systems
  • Healthcare services
  • Disease prevention
  • Experience and wisdom
  • Natural resources
What to do next:
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