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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. Discuss both view and give your own opinion?

In recent years, with the development of social media, some assert that it is making individuals less social due
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 addiction to virtual
life
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 some argue that it helps
people
Use synonyms
 to be entertained. The writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay believes that it will keep in touch together without distance barriers. It is vital to understand that social media makes
people
Use synonyms
 invest in content.
In other words
Linking Words
, by sharing humorous stories or content through videos or posts, they might feel comfortable and entertained when surfing the internet.
As a result
Linking Words
, social networking site helps individuals feel relaxed and share their minds to reduce stress levels.
However
Linking Words
, some debate on social media makes
people
Use synonyms
 addicted to virtual
life
Use synonyms
 and forget their real
life
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.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, addictive content creates more dopamine and excitement, resulting in their interest in using it. If they stop using the internet, they may fear missing out on the news, especially if they are
also
Linking Words
 depressed.
Hence
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, they will be reclusive and hate real-
life
Use synonyms
 interaction. In my point of view,
people
Use synonyms
 stay connected around the world without geographical barriers. In
this
Linking Words
 way, by having a global network, the internet connects everywhere in the world, allowing users to communicate with their friends or family regardless of distance.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
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 living far from home can connect with relationships by chatting or calling through apps
such
Linking Words
 as Messenger or WhatsApp.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their mental health will be improved and feel peace of mind to work or study. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some argue that social networking sites make
people
Use synonyms
 addicted to virtual
life
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, they not only provide entertainment but
also
Linking Words
 connect
people
Use synonyms
 around the world.

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task achievement
Your introduction could clearly state which side you support. It is important to present your main idea right away.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs flow better by using linking words. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention studies or statistics about social media use.
coherence and cohesion
Try to better explain the negative effects of social media. This part could be more detailed to balance both sides.
task achievement
You effectively mention the benefits of social media, such as helping to connect with family and friends.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion neatly sums up your view on social media's role in connecting people.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • mobile phones
  • social interaction
  • communication
  • connection
  • texting
  • calling
  • meeting
  • friends
  • social media
  • face-to-face
  • personal bonds
  • weaken
  • engaging
  • environment
  • less inclined
  • meaningful
  • reliance
  • settings
  • individuals
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