IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extent you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that electric devices
consider
Wrong verb form
are considered
show examples
 the new path of learning in
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 world.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that we do not
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 spend any money to learn in the old fashion. There is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposite
this
Linking Words
 idea. In my opinion, I consider that it is better to think about the future and start to learn in a new way.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the idea
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 improve your knowledge in easy ways possible.
In other words
Linking Words
, receiving
information
Add an article
the information
show examples
 will be much easier
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
help
Add an article
the help
show examples
 of computers
In addition
Linking Words
, learning will not be in one place or building.
For example
Linking Words
, people will learn anything and
also
Linking Words
 anywhere in the world because of electric devices that
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 the freedom of learning and time and
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
society
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
 it something crucial when they start to learn Another point to consider,
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 different sources that you can
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 from the internet. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that, when you begin to learn you have multiple sources that assist you to improve.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the idea
also
Linking Words
 how comfortable you are
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each source, so you will spend
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
 of time finding the best website that you prefer.
For instance
Linking Words
, Chat GPT
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
 one the biggest sources that people used in
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 world In conclusion , despite people having various views , I believe that the government should start thinking about the future and
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 the internet opportunity to provide the nation with more information that will help them in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. Use phrases like 'I strongly agree' or 'I partially disagree'.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to start each paragraph to better guide the reader through your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your sentences better. Use linking words like 'furthermore', 'however', or 'for example'.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. Instead of just mentioning 'computers', you could refer to specific devices or learning platforms.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion about the topic, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You identify multiple benefits of using electronic devices, which creates good content for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital media
  • printed materials
  • tactile experience
  • collectible nature
  • reading habits
  • archival stability
  • data corruption
  • obsolescence of technology
  • interactive learning experiences
  • adjustable font sizes
  • text-to-speech
  • inclusive
  • accessibility
  • environmental benefits
  • skim reading
  • in-depth reading
  • longevity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: