IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram shows the process of making smoked fish. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparisons.

The diagram shows the process of making smoked fish. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparisons.
The given diagrams illustrate how the smoked
fish
Use synonyms
 have
maken
Correct your spelling
taken
 through
this
Linking Words
 process.
Overall
Linking Words
,the ported
fish
Use synonyms
 will later freeze and
throw
Wrong verb form
be thrown
show examples
 into a freshwater before being cut open and filled in salt water, not until have the
fish
Use synonyms
 been smoked.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
 it will be packaged and salted at the
fish
Use synonyms
 shop.
To begin
Linking Words
 , the
catched
Correct your spelling
caught
show examples
fish
Use synonyms
 will be ported and
freezed
Correct your spelling
frozen
 in order to store it through the
delivering
Replace the word
delivery
show examples
 period.Substantially, it
had been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 thrown into the
fresh water
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
 as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way to keep it in fresh condition before cutting open
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and later
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stored
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 salt water with yellow
coloring
Change the spelling
colouring
show examples
.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
show examples
 a look at the remaining steps where it will be smoked before the aforementioned step .
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure, smoked
fish
Use synonyms
 will be packaged at low
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
 and stored in the cold store.
Finally
Linking Words
, these will be distributed to the
fish
Use synonyms
 shop where
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
appears
Correct subject-verb agreement
appear
show examples
 in the market.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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