IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others consider they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether corporations should hire
employees
Use synonyms
 who are able to
work
Use synonyms
 independently or who excel at collaborating in a team.
While
Linking Words
 independent workers can accomplish individual tasks efficiently, companies
also
Linking Words
 require
employees
Use synonyms
 with strong teamwork skills to successfully implement larger projects. Individuals who prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 alone are usually disciplined and goal-oriented.
Instead
Linking Words
 of spending their energy on cooperating with members, they gain more
self-fulfillment
Change the spelling
self-fulfilment
show examples
 by accomplishing the task. For larger projects that need brainstorming sessions, these
people
Use synonyms
 are usually good at providing creative ideas,
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then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
 the manager make the
further
Linking Words
 plan to let the other co-workers easily implement the ideas.
As a result
Linking Words
, the company should assign independent
employees
Use synonyms
 clear personal goals and time flexibility so that they can bring benefits to the company.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who gain motivation from teamwork are
also
Linking Words
 significant for business, especially corporations, because there are plenty of projects that are complex and require more
people
Use synonyms
 to cooperate. If every individual tends to
work
Use synonyms
 alone, it would lead to low efficiency in communicating remotely.
Also
Linking Words
, by working closely and following the instructions, it could create belonging among
employees
Use synonyms
, so that they can feel stable and develop a sense of responsibility, which is crucial for long-term business development. In conclusion,
while
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 co-workers who have creativity and independence can bring more creative ideas to brainstorming and
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
 various solo tasks for the company, hiring
people
Use synonyms
 who are willing to obey
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instructions and
work
Use synonyms
 in teams is important, since teamwork can cultivate belonging for co-workers so that the business can be long-lasting.

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Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific industries that benefit from each type of worker.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it is easy to see how each idea connects to the main topic. Use linking words to help readers follow your thoughts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents both views, and you have a strong conclusion summarizing your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative
  • independent
  • creative
  • problem-solving skills
  • development
  • new ideas
  • solutions
  • productivity
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • consistency
  • adherence
  • policies
  • conflicts
  • efficiency
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