Some people say that the best preparation for life is learning to work with others and be cooperative. Others take the opposite view and say that learning to be competitive is the best preparation. Discuss these positions, using concrete examples of both. Tell which one you agree with and explain why.

There has been an ongoing debate about whether cooperating or competing is the best preparation for life. I firmly believe that both views have their own advantages,

although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

argument leans towards the competitive side. On the one hand, competition fosters self-growth.

In other words

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, if people choose to compete against their peers, they will have to undergo numerous personal trainings in order to reinforce their multidisciplinary literacy, so they could thrive in any competitive environment.

As a result

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, they become more self-reliant, proactive, flexible

as well as

Linking Words

resilient.

For example

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, Netflix, where competitiveness among employees is frequently stimulated, and

then

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they have observed many workers explore their boundless potential and use it to contribute to the company's development .

On the other hand

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, collaboration offers higher productivity in

work

Use synonyms

. To clarify, there are possibilities that individuals confront some extremely challenging tasks that they have to seek assistance from their colleagues in order to rely on the strengths of each person, so they can ease the enormity of the problems.

Consequently

Linking Words

, cooperation provides better outcomes at

work

Use synonyms

because it helps people solve issues more easily and accurately. To exemplify, in medication, surgeons seldom conduct their surgeries alone,

instead

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, they gain support from their assistants, who help them make direct cuts on their patients to achieve the highest efficiency in any situation. In my opinion,

although

Linking Words

both sides show some truth, I believe that becoming competitive brings more benefits.

This

Linking Words

is because in a majority of contexts, showing supportive attitudes towards others may make them more and more passive in their

work

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

will create an invisible barrier that hinders people from realizing their full potential.

Moreover

Linking Words

, collaboration in some cases may provide opportunities for some individuals to exploit their companions and become overeliant. These situations are not beneficial for personal development which is a fundamental foundation for creating a permanent stable life. In conclusion,

although

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being collaborative or competitive offers certain merit, I believe that becoming competitive is more significant because cooperation has some weaknesses. Ultimately, cooperation is undermined

due to

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the prospect of being exploited and making employees reactive at

work

Use synonyms

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects well to the overall argument.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your points.

task achievement

Provide more detailed examples or explanations to support your ideas.

task achievement

Ensure each part of your argument is well-developed and easy to understand.

task achievement

You provide good examples to illustrate both sides of the argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion summarize your points well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

352 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Preparation for life
Learning to work with others
Cooperative
Competitive
Harmonious living
Networking
Successful teams
Personal excellence
Innovation
Societal progress
Holistic development
Collaborative projects
Community service
Competitive drive
Foster ambition
Entrepreneurship
Academic achievements

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