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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In today's time the internet is making it easy to study online from home. Some prefer online courses to study and they think it is better. others prefer classroom education Discuss both view and share your opinion.

In the present era, it has become very accessible to
study
Use synonyms
 online from home
due to
Linking Words
 the
internet
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. The
internet
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 is making everything more convenient and fast. Some people prefer online courses and believe they are better than
classroom
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education
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,
while
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 others still prefer traditional
classroom
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 learning. I partly agree with
this
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 view. In
this
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 essay, I will explore both perspectives and explain why I partly agree. On the one hand,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 evolved in
education
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 mostly in
pandemic
Add an article
the pandemic
a pandemic
show examples
 era. Online
education
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 helps
students
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 to
study
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 remotely in any part of the world.
Additionally
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,
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Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 and other social networks support
students
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 to access online
education
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 easily. The major benefit,
remote
Change preposition
of remote
show examples
study
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 it help
students
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 to learn from
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 instructors
all
Change preposition
in all
show examples
 parts of the world.
Furthermore
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,
leaners
Correct your spelling
learners
show examples
 should not need to visit any other country in order
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study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
 more about their subject. From that, individuals could save their valuable time and money that would
otherwise
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 be wasted on travel every day.
Students
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 could spend that time for
another useful purposes
Replace the adjective
another useful purpose
other useful purposes
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.
For instance
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, many Asian
students
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 travel to European countries in order to explore more about their subjects from
high ranked
Add a hyphen
high-ranked
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 universities, whether it is medicine or engineering, etc.
However
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,
classroom
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education
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 may offer several benefits. The main advantage is tutors
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 guide their learners by appearance and facial expression.
For example
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, sometimes
students
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 may not share their feelings and emotions, but when tutors observe their expressions it is easy to understand them.
Moreover
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,
students
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 tend to pay more attention and focus in a
classroom
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 rather than online class because in
classroom
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has
educational
Add an article
an educational
the educational
show examples
 atmosphere,
when
Correct word choice
while
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 learning
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home
leaners
Correct your spelling
learners
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 may
distract
Wrong verb form
be distracted
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 noises and family. And,
Use synonyms
Add an article
the students
show examples
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 concentration level is high when studying in
educational
Add an article
an educational
the educational
show examples
 environment. In conclusion, both online and
classroom
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education
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 have their own advantages and drawbacks. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view that online
education
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 is better, as it offers benefits like flexibility, cost-effectiveness, and global access.
However
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, it
also
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 has disadvantages
such
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 as distraction and reduced focus.
Therefore
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, a combination of both methods might be the most effective approach to learning.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to include clear examples to support your points. This will help the reader understand your ideas better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. This helps guide the reader through your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review your grammar and spelling. This will make your essay easier to read and understand.
Task Achievement
You introduced the topic well and stated your opinion clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
You made some good comparisons between online and classroom education.
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