Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some managers request the applicants to provide them with some personal info at the time of recruitment; some people believe that
this
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deed can be beneficial for managers, and
such
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data can be utilised in an appropriate way in the workplace.
However
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, some individuals disagree with
this
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notion. In the following paragraphs, I am going to elucidate both viewpoints and state my own opinion. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, some of the recruits’ private data can be beneficial for bosses in
such
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a way that not only can bosses get more familiar with their employee’s interests and abilities, but these workers can be allocated to a specific section of a project or company based on the gathered data, in which they have more expertise, and
therefore
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, can be more productive.
Additionally
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, the more employers know about an employee, the more they will be able to provide a suitable job situation for him or her.
For example
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, single male workers can work more conveniently in the night shifts compared to either married ones or their female colleagues. Concerning the minor sides, transferring private details to the principals of a company can be accompanied by the danger of disclosing
such
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details or the possibility for them to fall into the wrong hands.
For instance
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, one year ago, the personnel info of a famous company in Iran accidentally was disclosed through a breach in their computers’ security system, and a number of recruits were blackmailed by fraudsters who asked them for money to not publicise their most personal information. In my opinion, having a thorough knowledge of workers is essential for principals, inasmuch as managers would have a better understanding of their work culture, employee’s talents and abilities and even likes and dislikes;
for instance
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, by having
such
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knowledge, headmen can provide not only a more comfortable workplace and atmosphere for those who are working for them but
also
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a more profitable business for themselves.
Nevertheless
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, the confidentiality of
such
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information should be guaranteed by the companies’ headmen.
To sum up
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, concerning whether obtaining the personnel’s private info by their headmen is an apt deed or not, both notions have been discussed and my own point of view was presented, which was in agreement with the first idea provided that the secrecy of information is kept.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to make your main points clearer and easier to follow. Use linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help in showing clear and comprehensive ideas.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, summarize your main ideas more clearly. A strong conclusion can make your argument more effective.
task achievement
You have discussed both views well and included your opinion, which is important for a balanced response.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states that you will discuss both views, which sets the stage for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
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