IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is important to protect the environment, but they make no effort to do so themselves. Why is this the case? What can be done to encourage individuals to take action?

In today's rapidly changing world,
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 plays a vital role in shaping
individuals
Use synonyms
' futures and advancing society. Some people believe that it is important to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others think that they make no effort to do so themselves. The present essay will examine the causes and solutions of
this
Linking Words
 problem. On the one hand, supporters of protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
 believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it offers clear advantages for the two
individuals
Use synonyms
 and society. One key reason is that it can lead to environmental protection and clean energy, which contributes to long-term improvements in quality of life and economic stability. To illustrate, in countries that invest in greenhouse gases and
renews
Correct subject-verb agreement
renew
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 energy, there are often positive outcomes
such
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 as avoiding more problems like desertification and cutting electricity.
As a result
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,
this
Linking Words
 approach is considered effective and necessary by many.
On the other hand
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, others argue that they make no effort to do so themselves, which may bring more sustainable and long-term harm.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 perspective often focuses on increasing the root causes of problems rather than just the symptoms.
For instance
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, when governments or communities support using electricity more
from
Change preposition
than
show examples
 they need , it can lead to dangerous problems like greenhouse gas emissions, which harm both
individuals
Use synonyms
 and the wider community.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 view is increasingly gaining support in modern societies. By way of conclusion, after analyzing both the causes and solutions of
this
Linking Words
veiw
Correct your spelling
view
, I believe that protecting the
environment
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 is more beneficial in the long term, as it offers more effective solutions for both
individuals
Use synonyms
 and society.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Use topic sentences to guide the reader.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples that clearly support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check your sentences for clarity. Some sentences are a bit confusing and can be clearer with different wording.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction that presents the topic and states what you will discuss.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main point about protecting the environment's benefits.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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