Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food,clothes and entartainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.Other people believe that it is important for to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

There is no denying the fact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how important to make the

kids

Use synonyms

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

their own decisions .

While

Linking Words

it is a commonly held belief that

some how

Correct your spelling

somehow

show examples

when children make their own

choices

Use synonyms

may affect them in a bad way, there is

also

Linking Words

an argument that

Change the verb form

goes

show examples

with

taken

Verb problem

making

show examples

Use synonyms

Change preposition

by kids

show examples

kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

show examples

choices

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will affect them In a good way.

This

Linking Words

essay will analyse

this

Linking Words

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. ON one hand, people who believe growing should not be allowed

kids

Use synonyms

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

their own decisions have a point

due to

Linking Words

many

these

Change preposition

of these

show examples

choices

Use synonyms

let the

Use synonyms

kid

Fix the agreement mistake

kids

show examples

believe they can do what

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

wants

Correct subject-verb agreement

want

show examples

to do without any regard for society

In other words

Linking Words

, the

kid

Use synonyms

should knowing about the system and follow the community.

for example

Linking Words

, uniforms in schools it's necessary for

kids

Use synonyms

to know about Community decisions.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, people who believe in how importance of their

kids

Use synonyms

making their own

choices

Use synonyms

have a point. it is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

Simple

choicechoices

Correct your spelling

choice choices

will affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Their personalities and make them more confident and strong.

Moreover

Linking Words

, every person in life even when it is only a

kid

Use synonyms

is supposed to feel that his opinion is heard.

For instance

Linking Words

, when the

kid

Use synonyms

makes any decision He will feel important in society. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

Linking Words

question, On balance,

however

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that children have to make their own

choices

Use synonyms

alhanouf.989Sat Jun 07 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly presents both views and your opinion. This helps readers understand the essay's direction.

coherence

Use clear topics for each paragraph. Each paragraph should discuss only one main idea which connects to your overall argument.

coherence

Check your spelling errors like 'entartainment' and 'go with taken kids choices'. These errors can confuse the reader.

task achievement

Try to provide more detailed examples that show how children's choices improve their confidence or how lack of choices can be negative.

task achievement

You present both sides of the argument, which is good for a balanced view.

coherence

Your conclusion is clear and reflects your opinion well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

246 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Many countries raise fuel prices to deal successfully with problems of traffic and polluon. What effects do you think this move can have? What other measures do you think can be taken to reduce traffic and pollution ?
Raising fuel prices is a strategy often used by governments to tackle the issues of traffic congestion and environmental pollution. Although this policy can bring positive outcomes, it has wide-reaching implications, and relying on it alone may not provide the most effective results. Therefore, in addition to increasing fuel costs, other measures should be explored to ensure lasting reductions in both vehicle emissions and road traffic.
7
band
Research show that transportation of products and people is now one of the biggest sources of pollution worldwide. Some people think it is the responsibility of goverments to solve this problem, while others think it is the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is a debate over whether the transportation of goods and individuals is the main cause of environmental pollution. While some believe that the government should be fully responsible for solving these issues, others argue that citizens must also take part in environmental protection.
6.5
band
Due to grow of obesity among children. Most of people started to seek determination of this problem. to what extend do you agree or disagree
It is undeniable that in this era of health, life become more convenient to diet with than ever. However, more and more children suffer from obesity and consider the largest fraction of danger nowadays. Despite others saying it is a normal risk. This essay will delve into some measures to avoid this phenomenon, by providing relevant examples and insights.
9
band
you recently bought a piece of equipment from a company on the internet when it is arrived it is damaged write a letter to the manger of the company describe the piece of equipment you bought explain about the damaged piece say what younwant the manger to do
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with a Dell monitor I recently purchased from your online store this month. Due to its exceptional reputation for delivering vibrant colours and exceptional image quality, I selected this Full HD model to enhance my work setup.
6
band
Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The significance of health has been highlighted as life expectancy prolongs. From this aspect, questions about whether out of a nation's health budget, a large percentage should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive action arise. In my opinion, the authorities should spend the health budget for health education and preventive actions rather than treatment to some extent.

Fully explain your ideas

Many countries raise fuel prices to deal successfully with problems of traffic and polluon. What effects do you think this move can have? What other measures do you think can be taken to reduce traffic and pollution ?

Research show that transportation of products and people is now one of the biggest sources of pollution worldwide. Some people think it is the responsibility of goverments to solve this problem, while others think it is the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Due to grow of obesity among children. Most of people started to seek determination of this problem. to what extend do you agree or disagree

you recently bought a piece of equipment from a company on the internet when it is arrived it is damaged write a letter to the manger of the company describe the piece of equipment you bought explain about the damaged piece say what younwant the manger to do

Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?