IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some experts believe that it is better for
children
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to begin
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 learning a foreign
language
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 at primary school rather than at secondary school. In my opinion,
children
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 should
first
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 become strong in their own native
language
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 before learning another
one
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. A good understanding of their
first
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language
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 helps them express their thoughts better and makes learning easier in general. Personally, I did not have the chance to learn a second
language
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 at an early age.
As a result
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, I now feel that I am not fluent in either English or my own
language
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, which affects me in many areas of life. When I was younger, people believed I was very smart because I spoke some English, but I feel that early exposure to two languages without proper support made it harder for me later.
Also
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, learning two very different languages at a young age can be confusing for some
children
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. It may affect how they think and communicate. I believe it is better to focus on
one
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language
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first
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 and
then
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 start learning a new
one
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 in secondary school.
However
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, I understand that in some countries,
children
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 grow up speaking two main languages. In
such
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 cases, parents might want their
children
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 to learn both as early as possible, even if it is challenging. In conclusion,
while
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 early
language
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 learning has some benefits, I think it is more important for
children
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 to master their
first
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language
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 before adding a second
one
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.

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task achievement
Your main points should be clearer. Try to make each point stand out more and support it with clearer examples.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas flow smoothly from one to another. Use linking words to improve connection between sentences.
task achievement
Try to provide more examples from different situations or experiences to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion about language learning.
task achievement
You present a personal experience that relates to the topic, adding a personal touch to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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