Wealthy countries should accept more refuge and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

most people think that
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refuges
Correct your spelling
refugees
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should be hosted and provided with basic assistance by wealthy
countries
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. I agree with
this
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essay for two reasons , wealthy
countries
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have more ability to provide help , and it more safer and has more opportunities.
to begin
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with , the rich
countries
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can provide the
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refuges
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refugees
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with basic needs and they
are achieving
Wrong verb form
achieve
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their need more
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then
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than
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poor
countries
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,
in other words
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, rich
countries
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have more money
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then
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than
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others and can achieve their basic needs which are food and housing ,
for example
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, in 2011 when the war started at the middle east more
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refuges
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refugees
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had to go to rich
countries
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such
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as Germany or America to provide their needs , as they have more confidante in the rich
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then
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than
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poor
countries
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.
secondly
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, rich
countries
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can offer more than basics , like the opportunity for jobs to the
refuges
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and help them to enchase their lifestyle ,
moreover
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it can
also
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provide safety
for instance
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, low crime rates as they are low in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rich
countries
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, and good safe environment to
life
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live
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with their families and that more than it was in their country,
also
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could be useful to the country of the host
for example
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, if there was a shortage in human labour the could cover the missing handy workers in the host
countries
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. in conclusion , wealthy
countries
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are more Able to achieve the basic needs of the
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refuges
Correct your spelling
refugees
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, duo to , safety and better opportunities and
also
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enchase their lifestyle.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction. Instead of just saying you agree, expand on why it's important.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph. This helps guide the reader and makes your points easier to follow.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your ideas. For example, mention how refugees can contribute to their new countries.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid small grammar mistakes. For instance, use 'refugees' instead of 'refuges' and 'enhance' instead of 'enchase'.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more interesting.
task achievement
You presented clear reasons to support your argument, showing you understand the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
You managed to stay on topic and write about both safety and opportunities for refugees, which are important points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Humanitarian obligation
  • Financial resources
  • Infrastructure
  • Labor shortages
  • Essential services
  • International human rights conventions
  • Social cohesion
  • Cultural diversity
  • Public services
  • Inclusive practices
What to do next:
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