IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

It is very usual to utilize up-to-date technology in the majority of the workplaces. In my opinion, the advent of
the
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apply
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contemporary machinery
also
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 has affected
working
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the working
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 habits of
people
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. Though there are several advantages
of
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apply
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it
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apply
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such
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 as automated processes and increased work efficiency, the disadvantages - risen impatience and lack of analytical and writing skills - should not be overlooked. Technology is used in every field to facilitate the process for individuals. It achieves
this
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 through the automated processes which help humans in the tasks,
such
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 as categorizing or ordering the data.
As a result
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 of it, the time spent on a specific task is reduced and more is done within the working hours.
For example
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, names of the countries where
American
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the American
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 Councils for International Education is operating can be sorted alphabetically within
the
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apply
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seconds by clicking the filter button in the Microsoft Excel spreadsheet, which would require hours to complete
otherwise
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.
On the other hand
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, technological developments have several drawbacks. One of them is the reduced patience levels of
people
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. As the internet can respond to our requests within milliseconds, humans expect the same from other
people
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. Once
this
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 demand is not fulfilled, it causes discontent. Another disadvantage is
unsufficient
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insufficient
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 analytical and writing skills. Enhancement of artificial intelligence programs
enable
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enables
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people
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 to rely on them in their daily lives.
For instance
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,
launch
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the launch
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 of OpenAI and its product ChatGPT offered individuals
wide
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a wide
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 range of services, including essay writing and math
problem solving
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problem-solving
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.
However
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,
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according to
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apply
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the
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a
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 recent survey held in the organization where I work showed that the ability to draft a text or solve a problem is decreased
as a result
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 of
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the continous
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continous
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continuous
 use of artificial intelligence. In conclusion, it is an indisputable fact that technology embraces humanity from
the
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apply
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personal lives to professional
realams
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realms
. I think
,
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apply
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 machinery can influence
people
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 both in good and bad ways. It is important to be able to understand the effects and utilize
it
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them
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 to facilitate our work by not blunting our capabilities.

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Task Response
Try to make your main points clearer in each paragraph. For example, you could explain the relationship between technology and work habits in more detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one sentence to the next. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to guide the reader through your essay.
Task Response
Make sure to expand on each example with more explanation to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review your spelling and grammar to avoid small mistakes which can distract readers from your message.
Task Response
You clearly identified both the advantages and disadvantages of technology in the workplace, which shows a balanced view on the topic.
Task Response
Your use of an example related to Microsoft Excel is specific and supports your point about efficiency well.
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