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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Social media has now proven to be one of the biggest parts of our lives. Some regard it as an indispensable tool,
while
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 others feel concerned about its impact on our social lives.
This
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 essay will delve into the positive and negative sides of social applications,
as well as
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 provide examples and arguments on why I personally believe that the disadvantages overshadow the benefits of the indicated development.
To begin
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 with, websites like Twitter have proven to aid in connecting individuals all over the globe, enhancing their wealth of knowledge.
In other words
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, with social networks, the public is more aware of the cultures and experiences that they
otherwise
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 would never be in the know of.
For example
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, there has been a trend named #BlackLivesMatter, which sheds light on the discrimination that coloured people experience in Western countries. Without social media platforms, many would stay ignorant of the racism that runs rampant in these countries.
On the contrary
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, social websites could
also
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 bring irreversible damage to a person's mental health. One of these occurrences is that the Web serves as a coping mechanism for many to use, which discourages them from enduring the hardships of life. To exemplify, Hikikomori is a Japanese term for the crowd who are Internet addicts, staying in their rooms to escape the outside world.
Moreover
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, mass media is not safe. Simply speaking, they create breeding grounds for the community with nefarious intents. A small portion of these instances would be the many accounts of not only information stealing, but
also
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 grooming, paedophilia and cyberbullying. In conclusion,
although
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 the World Wide Web is a useful tool to help the public connect, I believe that its influence is predominantly negative.
This
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 can be understood through the fact that these websites are extremely addictive and incredibly dangerous as well.
Therefore
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, social network site consumption should be limited in our lives.

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Structure
Maintain a consistent structure throughout your essay to effectively guide the reader. A clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion can greatly enhance the clarity and flow of your argument.
Perspective
Expand your discussion by considering multiple perspectives. While it is important to state your opinion, examining the topic from various angles can provide a more comprehensive understanding.
Evidence
Be cautious with generalizations. Support your claims with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Language
Vary your sentence structure and vocabulary to keep your writing engaging. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more interesting to read.
Evidence
Excellent use of examples to support your arguments, enhancing their persuasiveness and relevance.
Structure
Clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion.
Task Response
Effective addressing of the task, providing a complete and well-rounded discussion on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital communication
  • Online communities
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Social isolation
  • Verbal and non-verbal cues
  • Virtual interactions
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Physical disconnectedness
  • Social networking platforms
  • Cyber relationships
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