The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

The world
population
Use synonyms
has been
disscued
Correct your spelling
discussed
hotly recently,
Although
Linking Words
. It is oddly considering it as if it's the biggest problem humanity is facing,
This
Linking Words
essay totally disagrees with
this
Linking Words
statement.
However
Linking Words
, I'm not denying at all that the world's
population
Use synonyms
is not a matter
that is
Linking Words
not worthy
disscuion
Correct your spelling
discussion
. I'm just saying it's not that big of a deal in front of other problems should put on the table and talk about it,
For example
Linking Words
. Researchers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been concerned recently about global warming is increasing the cause of cancer, Especially for women who
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
extreme
Change the word
extremely
show examples
hot and dehydrated
climate
Fix the agreement mistake
climates
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
This
Linking Words
kind of problem can be resolved by the government . Government could convince people to stop having children by giving more money or enforcing a law upon citizens who have more than one child will have to pay more taxes,
On the other hand
Linking Words
. I strongly believe the
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
of the increasing
population
Use synonyms
crisis is the lack of awareness among individuals, and the government should step up and take action.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I honestly think it's
rediculous
Correct your spelling
ridiculous
show examples
to neglect other issues taking over
planet
Add an article
the planet
show examples
, Like global warming ,
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
collapsing
Replace the word
collapse
show examples
,
crimes
Correct word choice
and crimes
show examples
rising,
Likewise
Linking Words
I care about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solving the
population
Use synonyms
rising crisis, but not much
as
Change preposition
about
show examples
the other problems.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your thesis statement should clearly state your main argument on whether you believe the population rise is the greatest issue. Make your position clear in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader through your ideas. This will improve the overall structure.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas properly with transition words like 'firstly', 'next', or 'finally' so that your essay flows better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific statistics about population growth or environmental impacts.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion that the population rise is not the greatest issue, which is good for task response.
task achievement
You introduced a relevant point about government intervention which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: