IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Is is often said that government spend too much money on project to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important. Do you agree or disagree?

The higher authority
expend
Verb problem
spends
show examples
 enormous money to provide
safe
Add an article
a safe
show examples
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wildlife
Use synonyms
. Some people think it is
Correct article usage
a totally
show examples
totally
Change the word
total
show examples
 waste as there are tremendous complications that are faced by human beings. Other individuals oppose
this
Linking Words
 notion because wild animals are a crucial part of
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
show examples
 . I agree with the statement that the government should spend money to protect the extinct species of
wildlife
Use synonyms
. To commence with ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wildlife
Use synonyms
 is an imperative part of a food chain and
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
show examples
 adequate support to the
eco-system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
show examples
. To elaborate
this
Linking Words
 , wild bees help in pollination in a particular season
as a result
Linking Words
, people are able to get dry fruits and honey to eat .
For instance
Linking Words
, as per the BBC News 25,000
been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
died
Replace the word
die
show examples
 annually during the process of pollination.
Hence
Linking Words
 , the government show interest
to protect
Change preposition
in protecting
show examples
 them in order to make a food chain in running condition across the world. To add more ,
due to
Linking Words
 the development of technology and urbanization people are destroying
wildlife
Use synonyms
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
 they
left
Add a missing verb
are left
show examples
 abandoned. So , the government proposed a project to construct national
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
, conservation
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 and
wildlife
Use synonyms
 sanctuaries to protect them
where
Correct word choice
so
show examples
 they can enjoy their natural lifestyle with other animals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, children will get a chance to see the rare and exquisite species of the animals which will
exhilarates
Change the verb form
exhilarate
show examples
 their enthusiasm.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are substantial
man made
Add a hyphen
man-made
show examples
 problems
might
Correct pronoun usage
that might
show examples
exists
Change the verb form
exist
show examples
however
Linking Words
, safety of the
wildlife
Use synonyms
 should be
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 one priority as they have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 emotions
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 human beings and they better deserve protection.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are well connected. Try using linking words to show how your points relate to each other.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This makes your argument stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Check your introduction and conclusion to ensure they clearly summarize your main points and provide a strong view.
task achievement
You have made a clear statement about your agreement with protecting wildlife.
task achievement
Your points about wildlife's role in the ecosystem are relevant and important.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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