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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

10 June 2025, The table below shows how patients evaluated different services at three health centres.

10 June 2025, The table below shows how patients evaluated different services at three health centres.
The table depicts the survey results of patient satisfaction in the three different medical centres, measured on a 1 to 10 rating scale across six
service
Use synonyms
 aspects.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
Peveril
Use synonyms
Centre
Use synonyms
 recorded the highest average
score
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
Longston
Correct your spelling
Langston
Centre
Use synonyms
 had the lowest. Meanwhile, the
Marchbank
Use synonyms
Centre
Use synonyms
’s
overall
Linking Words
score
Use synonyms
 was lower than that of the
Peveril
Use synonyms
Centre
Use synonyms
 but higher than that of the
Use synonyms
Longston
Correct your spelling
Kingston
Centre
Use synonyms
. The
Peveril
Use synonyms
Centre
Use synonyms
 received 9.1 points on booking appointments
service
Use synonyms
 compared to 5.2 for
Longston
Use synonyms
 and 7.8 for
Marchbank
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in the category of doctor’s
service
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, all three health centres recorded a similar
score
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at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 around 8. The satisfaction scores of caring children for
Peveril
Use synonyms
 and
Marchbank
Use synonyms
 were
also
Linking Words
 similar, at 7.5 and 7.3, respectively.
By comparison
Linking Words
, pharmacy
service
Use synonyms
 in
Longston
Use synonyms
 and
Marchbank
Use synonyms
 had a moderate
score
Use synonyms
, at 5.1 and 5.8 in each respective
centre
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Peveril
Use synonyms
’s
score
Use synonyms
 was higher than those.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Peveril
Use synonyms
 achieved 9.6 in the response to concern aspect, 5.3 higher than
Use synonyms
Longston
Correct your spelling
Langston
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Peveril
Use synonyms
 achieved an 8.3
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
average
score
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, which was higher than
Marchbank
Use synonyms
's (7.2) and
Longston
Use synonyms
's (5.8).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words service, peveril, centre, score, longston, marchbank with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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