IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People hold
defferent
Correct your spelling
different
 views on where should be the place for
children
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 to learn to be good individuals
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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,
while
Linking Words
 the debate begins on home and
school
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. Viewed from my perspective,
school
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 might be a better environment for
children
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 to be taught to become qualified
members
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 of the
society
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. Home is the first place where most people stay in
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 childhood, which indicates that it offers much time for
parents
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 to teach their
children
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.
Besides
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,
parents
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 are experienced
society
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members
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 and they can give their methods of how to connect with people to their
children
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.
However
Linking Words
, there is a problem——what if
parents
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 themselves are not qualified
society
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members
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.
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?
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 Don't forget that not all
parents
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 take the responsibility of bringing up
children
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.
This
Linking Words
 means that
children
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 might be affected by some kinds of characteristic defaults and bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
come
Correct pronoun usage
that come
show examples
 from their
parents
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. Cases are not the same in
school
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.
School
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 offers a chance to experience the true
society
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 because students will build up a connecting web and
children
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 can practice social skills. What's more, teachers are supervised by both students and
parents
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, which ensures their moral integrity and sets
example
Add an article
an example
the example
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 for
children
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. As the
last
Linking Words
 step towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real
society
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,
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school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 takes on its mission to make
children
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 become mature and integral. In conclusion, I argue that
school
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 is better than home for
children
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 to be good
members
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 of our
society
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,
while
Linking Words
parents
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 should
also
Linking Words
 take the responsibility of teaching
children
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly present your opinion in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion. This helps the reader understand your main point better.
task achievement
Try to add specific examples or experiences to support your arguments. This will make your points stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
You present arguments for both sides of the debate, which shows good critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main point well, showing your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
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