IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A
children
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's education has never been about learning information and basic skills only. It has always included teaching the next generation how to be good members of
society
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 cannot be the
responsibility
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 of the parents alone. In order to be a good member of any
society
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 the individual must respect and obey the rules of their
community
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 and share their values. Educating
children
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 to understand the need to obey rules and respect others always begins in the home and is widely thought to be the
responsibility
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 of parents. They will certainly be the first to help
children
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 learn what is important in life, how they are expected to behave and what role they will play in their world.
However
Linking Words
, learning to understand and share the value system of a whole
society
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 cannot be achieved just in the home. Once a child goes to school, they
are entering
Wrong verb form
enter
show examples
 a wider
community
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 where teachers and peers will have just as much influence as their parents do at home. At school,
children
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 will experience working and living with people from
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
 variety of backgrounds from the wider
society
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.
This
Linking Words
 experience should teach them how to cooperate with each other and how to contribute to the life of their
community
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. But to be a valuable member of any
community
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 is not like learning a simple skill. It is something that an individual goes on learning throughout life and it is the
responsibility
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 of every member of a
society
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 to take
responsibility
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 for helping the younger generation to become active and able members of that
society
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates to the topic.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples to support your ideas and arguments.
Task Achievement
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing your opinion clearly.
Task Achievement
You present both sides of the argument well, showing a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your ideas are generally clear and easy to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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