Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many young adults spend their leisure time shopping and looking for new things to purchase.

This

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could be

due to

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the high amount of offers that people are confronted with. In

this

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essay, I want to review

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

that while

show examples

this

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can be a good use of

someones

Change to a genitive case

someone's

show examples

time, it

also

Linking Words

holds some dangers and can shift to a negative. Nowadays, teens

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

just go out shopping when they need something but

also

Linking Words

to meet

friends

Use synonyms

and socialize

while

Linking Words

looking for new items to buy. Big shopping malls nowadays

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

just offer products anymore, they

also

Linking Words

offer a place to relax, meet and get food together.

This

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makes them a magnet for young individuals to come and hang out with

friends

Use synonyms

. And whilst there, they can bond over new shoes or clothing and share opinions regarding those products.

Therefore

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, shopping shifted from a necessity to a meet and greet for young adults and a way to exchange opinions and preferences.

Consequently

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, shopping with

friends

Use synonyms

becomes a good use of free-time activities and helps minors to get to know each other in a very different manner and bond over mutual interests.

However

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, it can get to a point, where younglings feel the need to purchase new items only to keep their

friends

Use synonyms

For example

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, if one friend has the money to buy certain products, the other friend feels the need he has to get them as well, even tho he has no money for it.

This

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in return can shatter friendships, which could be avoided by doing different things than shopping or communicating about the situation, which is often hard for youngsters. In conclusion, shopping can bring young adults together and find shared interests.

Although

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this

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only works if friendships

also

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exist outside of shopping activities and

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

force anyone to participate. I firmly believe, shopping can be a positive use of

someones

Change to a genitive case

someone's

show examples

time, if it doesn´t become the main activity.

joshinick95Tue Jun 10 2025

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task achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly presents your main ideas. Try to summarize the points you will discuss more clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph. This helps the reader follow your ideas better.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. Explain how shopping affects friendships in depth.

coherence and cohesion

Check your grammar and spelling. For example, 'teens don't' instead of 'teens dont'.

coherence and cohesion

Try to avoid repeating words and use synonyms for variety. For example, use 'friends' and 'peer' interchangeably.

content

Your essay addresses both sides of shopping as a leisure activity.

content

You provide thoughtful points about socializing and pressures around shopping.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure activity
consumer culture
material possession
social experience
disposable income
tech-savvy
convenience
fashion trends
overconsumption
economic stimulation
retail industry
materialism
debt
consumer spending
browsing

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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

You have arranged a meeting with a business partner.Unfortunately, you have to change the arrangement. Write a letter to your partner. Explain the new arrangement Apology for the changes Explain the reason why the changes were needed.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

More and more people are moving away from agriculture background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?