IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abrod ?

Many
people
Use synonyms
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
decided
Add the particle
decided to
show examples
 leave their native countries for various reasons from getting safety to opportunities
getting
Change the verb form
to get
show examples
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 in
international
Add an article
an international
show examples
 company or
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 your own business. But that decision
connect
Correct subject-verb agreement
connects
show examples
 with advantages or disadvantages. Go abroad for many
people
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
 step in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and they take it had being motivated
success
Change preposition
by success
show examples
 stories
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 social media. A
lot
Use synonyms
 of developed countries have attractive immigration programs for foreigners. If you participate in some programs and decide to relocate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
somewhere you can get a
lot
Use synonyms
 of benefits like international education
,
Correct word choice
and, better
show examples
better
Add an article
the better
a better
show examples
 quality of life. safety.
For example
Linking Words
 for foreigners in
EU
Correct article usage
the EU
show examples
is having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 passport named
blue
Correct article usage
a blue
show examples
 card if you have
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
 or
nessesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 you can get
blue
Add an article
a blue
the blue
show examples
 card and permission to work in
EU
Correct article usage
the EU
show examples
 about 3 years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
lot
Use synonyms
 of education programs
available
Add a missing verb
are available
show examples
 now and getting
international
Add an article
an international
show examples
 degree like
PhD
Correct article usage
a PhD
show examples
 or MBA, looks very valuable
therefore
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
decided
Add the particle
decided to
show examples
 go abroad.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 leaving
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 native country
connected
Verb problem
comes
show examples
 with some disadvantages
firstly
Linking Words
 you
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 networking and connections.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 you were
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
 in some area and you
invest
Wrong verb form
invested
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of time to make effective networking to deal with different unpredictable issues, when you go abroad you should do it again and spend more time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 it.
Second
Add an article
The second
show examples
 disadvantage we can
met
Change the verb form
meet
show examples
 abroad
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
sociallisation
Correct your spelling
socialisation
, local traditions, laws,
habits
Correct word choice
and habits
show examples
 it is very challenging to adapt
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that,
hence
Linking Words
 more
people
Use synonyms
couldn't
Wrong verb form
can't
show examples
 adapt
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 environment and should return. On the
whole
Add a comma
whole,
show examples
 leaving your country to live or study abroad
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 more benefits and
Correct your spelling
opportunities
opprtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 but you should clearly understand what entire laws and rules act in the target country 289

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction could clearly state the advantages and disadvantages. Make sure to fully address both sides in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to use clear linking words between your ideas to improve flow, like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'.
coherence cohesion
Avoid spelling errors, such as 'safety' instead of 'safely' and 'sociallisation' instead of 'socialization'. These can confuse the reader.
task achievement
You made good points about education and immigration programs. These are relevant and interesting.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: