IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

How does plastic pollution affect marine life, and what steps can be taken to reduce it?

Plastic
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Pollution
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 is a growing threat to
marine
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 life.
This
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 essay will examine how
plastic
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pollution
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 affects
marine
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 life and suggest measures to reduce its impact. The use of
plastic
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 has risen dramatically over the past century and continues to grow, resulting in
plastic
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pollution
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, which directly impacts
marine
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 biodiversity worldwide.
For example
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,
plastic
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 waste floats on the ocean surface and blocks the vital sunlight coral needs to thrive. In fact, coral reefs provide shelter and food for many
marine
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 species.
Therefore
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 If they are deprived of sunlight, they begin to die.
As a result
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,
marine
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 species whose lives depend on coral reefs suffer, and some of them are at risk of extinction.
Moreover
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, the ingestion of
plastic
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 pieces by mammals, fish, sea
turtles
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 and seabirds is a serious problem too.
For instance
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, sea
turtles
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 often mistake
plastic
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 bags for jellyfish. The eating of
plastic
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 pieces can make
turtles
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 feel full, eventually leading to starvation. Scientists have found that approximately 50-60% of all sea
turtles
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 contain
plastic
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 in their bodies.
Similarly
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, seabirds are among the main victims of microplastic ingestion, with around 90% of them containing microplastics in their bodies
according to
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 recent studies. What’s more, some seabirds have even been observed feeding
plastic
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 pieces to their young, putting entire populations at risk. To address the problem, Individuals can take simple
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 but powerful steps.
For example
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,
instead
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 of using single-use
plastic
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 items, which make up the vast majority of
marine
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pollution
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, use biodegradable ones, which consist of organic substances and easily decompose in water, thereby reducing the amount of
plastic
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 waste entering the ocean.
Furthermore
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, use safe alternatives
such
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 as reusable products
instead
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 of
plastic
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, which reduces the amount of
plastic
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 in circulation, resulting in less waste entering the ocean.

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coherence cohesion
Add a short end part to sum up your main ideas. This will make the essay feel more complete.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with more care. For example, put a comma after 'Therefore'.
task achievement
Your ideas answer both parts of the task, but the steps to reduce plastic are a bit short. Add one more clear step, like laws or clean-up work.
task achievement
Some examples are good, but one or two more exact examples for solutions would make your answer stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and topic focus.
coherence cohesion
The points about coral, turtles, and birds are easy to follow and support your main idea well.
task achievement
You answer both questions in the task and stay on the topic all the time.
task achievement
You use clear examples and facts to explain harm to marine life.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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