Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution problems

Environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

is often regarded as the main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

illnesses

Use synonyms

and diseases. As

such

Linking Words

, many believe that local authorities should utilize the resources to mitigate

this

Linking Words

issue. The following essay will provide evidence to explore why I personally both agree and disagree with the aforementioned statement.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the reason why I agree with the statement is because environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

increases the chance of respiratory

illnesses

Use synonyms

, which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

often caused by dust, fumes and other harmful chemicals in the air.

As a result

Linking Words

, citizens could suffer from allergies or asthma.

Due to

Linking Words

these reason

Change the determiner

this reason

these reasons

show examples

, local authorities should allocate resources to deal with climate degradation.

However

Linking Words

, given the reasons above, the reduction of

pollution

Use synonyms

is not the only matter the government should focus on because other factors,

such

Linking Words

as healthcare quality, should

also

Linking Words

be prioritised in order to reduce health issues. As a matter of fact,

illnesses

Use synonyms

can occur from a number of causes, not just

pollution

Use synonyms

therefore

Linking Words

, by investing

into

Change preposition

show examples

and developing the quality of national healthcare, all types of diseases could be effectively prevented and cured, which would allow the well-being of the citizens to be greatly enhanced. In brief,

cased

Correct your spelling

based

show examples

on my personal view, I hold a neutral opinion regarding

this

Linking Words

matter because focusing government

effort

Fix the agreement mistake

efforts

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

reducing

pollution

Use synonyms

could be an effective way to reduce health issues.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

effort

Fix the agreement mistake

efforts

show examples

should

also

Linking Words

be made

in increasing

Change preposition

to increase

show examples

the quality of health services as it can broadly counter many

illnesses

Use synonyms

and diseases.

mylinhngyn1512Tue Jun 10 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position, but it could be more engaging. Try to include a question or interesting fact to catch the reader's attention.

coherence and cohesion

In your body paragraphs, ensure each point is clearly linked to your main argument. Using clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph can help.

task achievement

Try to include specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention a specific illness caused by pollution or a country that improved its healthcare system.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to summarize your main points in the conclusion. This will help reinforce your argument and provide a clear end to the essay.

task achievement

You have a good balance of agreement and disagreement regarding the topic, which shows critical thinking.

task achievement

You identified the impact of pollution on health effectively, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution problems

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