Nowadays many people choose to be self-employee rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What is the disadvantage of being self-employee?

Currently, many humans tend to
work
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for themselves
instead
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of functioning for companies.
This
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is because these people want more free time to spend with their family.
Moreover
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, one of the flaws of
this
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matter is the fact that self-employed do not have some privileges that firms provide for their employees.
Initially
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, men prefer to be self-employed because they not only desire to have more freedom but to play with their children as well. To clarify, when males stay at home to
work
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, they can have a break at any time they want and go to spend time with their kids.
Therefore
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, they are more satisfied.
For example
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,
according to
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a study conducted at London University, 46% of self-employed are happy and not willing to
work
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for other organizations.
However
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, people who
work
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for themselves do not have the benefits that other companies offer.
In other words
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, privileges
such
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as healthcare insurance combined with a pension are not available for males who are earning cash by themselves. If they get sick, they have to spend money to get cured.
Furthermore
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, if they reach their seventies, they will be in a difficult financial situation because they do not have a pension.
For instance
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, the manager of Leeds Bank said that 67% of the old self-employed are poor because they do not have the energy to
work
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at
this
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age.
Therefore
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, they cannot make money to support themselves.
To sum up
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, working for yourself as an individual plays a pivotal role in increasing your happiness.
In addition
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, one major issue for the guys who earn money independently is that they can't have sustainable salaries when they get older.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your main points in each paragraph and connect them back to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing, such as 'however', 'in addition', or 'for example'.
task achievement
Add more specific details and examples to fully explain your points, ensuring they are directly related to self-employment.
task achievement
The introduction could be clearer by explicitly stating the reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages.
task achievement
You provided a clear view of why some people choose to be self-employed and mentioned the disadvantages well.
task achievement
Your use of examples, like the study from London University, adds strength to your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 โ€“ advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 โ€“ disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • freedom
  • flexibility
  • schedule
  • manage
  • balance
  • personal life
  • job satisfaction
  • technology
  • business
  • boss
  • decisions
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