IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or services (e.g. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that the
price
Use synonyms
 of an item or a service is the most essential factor to be considered when purchasing. In my opinion, I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective, as there are many other critical factors
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
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 be included
such
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 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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quality
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
this
Linking Words
 topic before presenting my position. One key reason for
this
Linking Words
 opinion is that the
price
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 of a service or an item cannot indicate its real value or
whither
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 it will be sufficient for its purpose or not.
For example
Linking Words
, buying an expensive bag cannot guarantee its high
quality
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 and it may
damage
Wrong verb form
be damaged
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 after using easily.
This
Linking Words
show
Change the verb form
shows
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 that consumers should be aware of the
quality
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 and
ablities
Correct your spelling
abilities
 of the product before purchasing.
In addition
Linking Words
, prioritizing the
price
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 over other factors is one of the leading reasons that affected the
quality
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 standards, as many factories utilize cheap
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
show examples
 to attract customers with low-
price
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 items. A good example of
this
Linking Words
 can be seen in a
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
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 case that was against SHEIN which
accused
Add a missing verb
was accused
show examples
 of utilizing harmful and low-
quality
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 materials that negatively impact the human body.
However
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, their
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
 was "our consumers were only considering the
price
Use synonyms
 factor" and
this
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 demonstrates the
significance
Replace the word
significant
show examples
 impact of
such
Linking Words
perspective
Correct article usage
a perspective
show examples
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the cost is not an efficient tool to measure the
quality
Use synonyms
 level of a product or a service.
Therefore
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, I suggest that customers
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
examine their choices thoroughly without considering
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 cost.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main ideas in the introduction. Your position should be clear from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your ideas. Use linking words to connect your sentences better.
task achievement
Provide a wider range of examples to support your points and make them more convincing.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion in the essay and supported it with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is generally good, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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