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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think traditional games are better than modern games in helping children develop their abilities. To what extent do you agree?

There is a growing concern about whether kid's abilities are better developed in traditional
games
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 or in present-day
games
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. The writer of
this
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 essay thinks that it is better to let
children
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 play traditional
games
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due to
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 the enhancement in social
skills
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 and
health
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 despite the reduction in
stress
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 gained by playing modern
games
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. Remarkably, it is vital to understand that traditional
games
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 often require
children
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 to face-to-face.
In other words
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,
this
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 helps
children
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 develop important communication
skills
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 and emotional intelligence.
Additionally
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, traditional
games
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 have simple rules, making them easy for kids to understand which
also
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 allows them to focus on intellectual
skills
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 like strategy and problem-solving.
Therefore
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,
this
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 will contribute positively to
children
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's cognitive thinking. Another key point worth considering is that traditional
games
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,
such
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 as tag or hide and seek, encourage physical activity and outdoor play. To be more specific,
children
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 can have the ability to build strong bodies through these activities.
For instance
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, most schools ban students from using high-end technologies, which forces students to start to find things that can entertain them, and these traditional
games
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 or sports have become the solution to their boredom. In consequence, the rate of obesity in these schools goes down which means that traditional
games
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 play a crucial part in improving
children
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's
health
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.
However
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, some claim that playing modern
games
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 especially
games
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 on smartphones or laptops is a good idea to reduce
stress
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.
This
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 is because online
games
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 or virtual
games
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 can generate images and videos that can give kids positive emotions like enjoyment or excitement which help them release their
stress
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.
This
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 notion seems to be true to some extent but the high chance of getting addicted is
also
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 a thing that we need to be considered.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that gaming can be an addiction to these kid as they start to rely on them too much and both their physical and mental
health
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 will be affected negatively
as a result
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. In conclusion,
although
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 playing present-day
games
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 is believed to be a great idea in terms of the lower rate of
stress
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, there is ample evidence
to conclude
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 why playing traditional
games
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 offers more benefits because of the improvement in
children
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's social
skills
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 and
health
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure to support each main point with clear examples for stronger arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect your ideas better, which will help the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Keep your paragraphs focused on one main idea to improve clarity and understanding.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about traditional games that shows your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your stance on the topic, which is a good start.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional
  • modern
  • games
  • children
  • develop
  • abilities
  • physical
  • activity
  • outdoor
  • play
  • social
  • skills
  • teamwork
  • sharing
  • understand
  • focus
  • strategy
  • problem-solving
  • low-pressure
  • interaction
  • communication
  • emotional
  • intelligence
  • online
  • critical
  • thinking
  • creativity
  • limit
  • balance
  • development
  • promote
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